Can Codependency Affect Your Romantic Relationship?

Are you and your partner dependent on each other? Well, every relationship includes some amount of dependency, and that is completely healthy. But, if the level of dependency is extreme – so much so that you and your partner are constantly neglecting your own needs to keep the relationship going, then that’s a red flag. And it can harm your mental health, peace of mind and overall wellbeing. This falls under a pattern called codependent relationship. It is very common among couples, but not many are aware about it. Today, we will throw light on what codependency looks like in a romantic relationship.

To get an expert view on this, the editorial team of OnlyMyHealth reached out to Dr Divya Shree KR, Consultant – Psychiatry, Aster CMI Hospital, Bangalore. Read ahead.

What Is A Codependent Relationship?

What exactly is a codependent relationship? Let us begin by understanding the basics of it. “A codependent relationship is when one person becomes overly responsible for the other person’s emotions, needs, or problems, and both partners start depending on each other in an unhealthy way,” explains Dr Shree KR.

She further elaborates, “One person may always try to fix, save, or please the other even when it hurts their own wellbeing, while the other person may rely too much on this support and not take responsibility for their own actions. This pattern creates imbalance, stress, and emotional exhaustion. People in codependent relationships often fear being alone, ignore their own needs, or stay in the relationship to feel valued. Over time, this behaviour can weaken confidence, create resentment and make it hard for both people to grow independently.”

What Does Codependency Look Like In Romantic Relationships?

Not just your partner, codependency relationships can be formed with anyone – be it your sibling, a friend or your parents. But today, we are going to focus only on what codependency does in a romantic relationship.

“Codependency in a romantic relationship looks like one partner constantly taking care of the other person’s emotions, decisions, or problems. The relationship becomes unbalanced because both people rely on this pattern. One partner may ignore their own needs, give up personal goals, or feel guilty for setting boundaries; while the other may become dependent on constant reassurance, attention, or support,” elucidates Dr Shree KR.

She adds, “Arguments often happen when one person feels unappreciated or the other feels abandoned. Both partners may fear separation and stay together even when the relationship feels unhealthy. Over time, this behaviour can create stress, low confidence, emotional exhaustion, and difficulty making independent choices for both individuals.”

Also Read: Spouses Likely To Have The Same Mental Health Conditions? Psychologists Shed Light

Can Codependency Harm Your Romantic Relationship?

Now that we know what a codependency looks like, let us tell you whether it can harm your relationship or not. “Yes, co-dependency can harm a romantic relationship because it creates an unhealthy balance where one partner always gives and the other always takes; this can lead to stress, frustration, and resentment over time. Both partners may ignore their own needs, stop growing individually, or feel trapped in the relationship. Communication can suffer because people fear conflict or rejection,” shares the expert.

Dr Shree KR adds that one partner may feel overwhelmed while the other becomes too dependent. “Problems are not solved in a healthy way because responsibility is not shared equally. Over time this can weaken trust, reduce emotional intimacy, and make the relationship unstable. So, co-dependency can prevent both people from being happy and growing as individuals and as a couple,” she adds.

Signs Of A Codependent Romantic Relationship

On this note, the expert shares the signs to identify if you are in a codependent relationship with your partner:

• Trying to fix or please the other.
• Ignoring your own needs, or feeling guilty for saying no.
• Relying heavily on constant support, attention, or reassurance.
• Both partners may fear being alone or abandoned.
• Arguments often happen over small issues because one person feels unappreciated or the other feels controlled.
• There is a lack of healthy boundaries, where personal space, opinions, or feelings are often ignored.
• One or both partners may give up hobbies, friends, or goals to keep the relationship.

Can Codependent Relationships Affect Your Mental Health?

A relationship which lacks healthy boundaries can create chaos. And chaos can harm our mental peace and overall wellbeing. “Yes, co-dependent romantic relationships can affect mental health because constantly trying to please or fix a partner can cause stress, anxiety, and emotional exhaustion. Ignoring one’s own needs or boundaries can lead to low self-esteem, sadness, or feelings of worthlessness. Being in a relationship where one partner is overly dependent can create guilt, frustration, or resentment,” shares Dr Shree KR.

“Fear of being alone may increase, causing constant worry or tension, and over time this unhealthy pattern can lead to depression, burnout, or difficulty making independent decisions. Both partners may struggle with emotional instability, sleep problems, or loss of confidence. Seeking help from a therapist or counsellor can support healthier boundaries and improve mental wellbeing for both individuals,” she concludes.

Also Read: Can Sleep Divorce Harm Your Relationship?

The Final Word

A codependent relationship is when one person is overly responsible for the other person’s emotional needs and wellbeing. Both partners start depending on each other in an unhealthy way in this kind of pattern, and this can affect their mental health and overall wellbeing. Seeking professional help like therapy or couple’s counseling can help cope with it and create healthier boundaries.