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After almost a decade of on-and-off relationships, Hollywood actress Dakota Johnson and Rock band- Coldplay frontman Chris Martin have reportedly ended their romance. The couple, who started dating back in 2017, were also rumoured to be engaged in December 2020. While this Hollywood couple has often sparked split rumors, this one seems official.
However, this international love story isn’t the first to put an end to a long-term relationship. Other famed couples like Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck ended their relationship after rekindling flames after two decades, while actor Channing Tatum and Zoë Kravitz called off their engagement in 2024, ending a three-year-long relationship.
But what makes people quit long-term commitments? In this article, Dr Preeti Sharma, a Psychiatry Consultant at Apollo Hospitals Lucknow, sheds light on the topic. Read on to know more.
Why Do Long-term Relationships Come to an End?
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According to Dr Sharma, “Over time, people grow, and sometimes, they grow apart. What once felt emotionally fulfilling may no longer resonate with personal goals. However, it doesn’t mean the love was not real; priorities shift, values evolve, and the emotional bond may quietly weaken. Moreover, stability does not always guarantee a connection.”
As reported by an exclusive source to People magazine, this breakup “feels final this time”. However, the lead Coldplay singer was seen promoting Dakota Johnson’s new film, ‘Materialists’, at a recent concert of the band held in Athens, Greece.
When a relationship ends, especially the ones that feature such celebrated artists, it becomes a matter of public spectacle. And with such investment, fans and friends alike want the answer to the split. “The answer is not always dramatic or obvious. Sometimes nothing is wrong, it's just that life moves people in different directions, rendering them to drift apart,” explained Dr Sharma.
Is Growing Apart Inevitable in Long-term Relationships?
Breakups after years of togetherness often spark surprise, shock, and judgment from the outside world. Questions like, “How can they break up after all this time?” and “Why couldn’t they make it work after all these years?” cause a social frenzy. When asked about long-term breakups from an emotional wellness standpoint, Dr Sharma said, “The answer is rarely in black and white. As someone who has worked closely with individuals and couples navigating complex relationship dynamics, I’ve learned that the end of a long-term relationship is not always a dramatic collapse.”
Another aspect, often overlooked in long-lasting relations, is the quiet rift over time. Sometimes, it’s a quiet, reflective decision born out of personal growth and emotional evolution. And in many cases, nothing is technically “wrong.” People just grow in different directions.
Is Age Difference a Tipping Point?
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After this split, fans are left to pick up the pieces of the relationship trying to thread what went wrong. Some chalk it up to the 13-year age difference (Chris Martin, 4 and Dakota Johnson, 35 ) between the couple, others talk about the indifference over having kids.
While there is a lot of stigma attached to age gaps, raising immediate red flags, but is not always the case. Age is not the sole factor; respect, understanding, and emotional compatibility matter far more. If these align, age is just a number, I believe. Moreover, I often see couples with large age gaps navigating life beautifully, explained Dr. Sharma, busting the age-gap myth.
Can Too Much Comfort Kill the Relationship? Relationship Expert Answers
Relationships that last long are built on mutual trust, healthy boundaries, and direct communication among the people involved. But paradoxically, the very comfort that sustains long-term relationships can sometimes dull the romantic spark.
In Dr Sharma’s opinion, “While emotional safety is essential, romance thrives on curiosity, spontaneity, and appreciation. When couples stop discovering each other and stop setting healthy boundaries, the spark often fades. A relationship should be a balance of comfort and growth, closeness and space.”
“Unresolved Resentment Can Kill Even Long-time Relationships”, Says Dr Sharma
While love and trust are the foundation of any relationship, it is paramount in long-term relationships to take care of emotional health. Oftentimes, couples fall into a pattern and start giving up on checking up on each other. According to Dr Sharma, this is one of the common problems she sees.
She added, “Stability does not always guarantee connection. Long-time partners might start taking each other for granted or stop making time for emotional intimacy. This leads to resentments, and when they remain unspoken, it slowly starts eating away at the relationship. When this happens, separation is not about failure; it’s about lack of awareness and choice.”
Breaking up After Many Years: More About Timing than Love?
In many relationships that start at adolescence or in high school, they fall apart later. This is often due to a seismic shift in goals, personal values, and overall growth, in different directions. “Very often, love can still exist, but timing may no longer align. With time, the couple no longer feels like growing together. Moreover, shifting goals and life transitions like career moves or emotional needs can create distance. In such cases, ending a relationship does not mean love has vanished, it means two people are choosing paths that honor their present self, even if it means walking separately”, said Dr Sharma.
Conclusion: Every Relationship is Different!
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Reading about our problems online has become an easy and accessible source. While we may not tailor to your specific needs, here are some relationship expert approved tips to improve your relationship.
Make time: Just like you schedule your meetings, schedule regular dates, intimate time, and quality time.
Really Listen: It is only natural to provide solutions when listening to someone else’s problem, but try to just listen which gives your partner a sense of security that they can share anything with you.
Ask Questions: As relationships mature, people often think they know everything about each other. However, this isn’t always the case. Ask your partner what you can improve and vice versa.
Have Difficult Talks: Learn to communicate your stance on certain topics and be open to listen to your partner before coming to an agreement.