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We spend months in awe of someone, and one day, all of a sudden, we notice something and all of the attraction disappears. If you have experienced something similar, don’t worry, you are not alone. There is a name for this journey from ‘awww to ewww’, social media users call it the ‘Ick’. So, why do you get the Ick? And how do you move past it, if it is even possible at all? Let us find out!
Yellow Ick VS Red Ick
The Ick is normally a temporary feeling and we get over it after a while. For example, you notice something stuck between your partner’s teeth and you get the Ick, but the feeling would pass after some time. A temporary Ick like that could be classified as a ‘Yellow Ick’, meaning the driving force behind it is not as significant and wouldn’t have a long-term effect on your relationship.
Juveriya Syed, a Counseling Psychologist & Psychotherapist says, ‘‘Sometimes though, it can be a sign of something much deeper.’’ Imagine you get the Ick while your partner is needlessly bashing the watchman. And, all of a sudden, it hits you. You realise it is a pattern you have ignored for long and that your partner is often disrespectful to other people and yourself. The repulsion you feel about such a toxic behaviour could be classified as a ‘Red Ick’ and such Icks should never be ignored because they may translate to something much worse in the future. In such situations, it is important to communicate with your partner and discuss whether your partner is willing to change or not, and if not, whether you should walk away from the relationship or stay, Juveriya suggests.
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Why Do We Get The Ick?
The phrase ‘Ick’ has infiltrated social media debates particularly in the dating sphere. It can be a temporary feeling and disappear within some time, but it could also be long-term and hinder the progress of your relationships, or in some cases, it can be a recurring pattern and keep you bereft of a serious relationship. Similarly, the triggers of the Ick may vary from a small trait like an unhygienic habit, to more serious attributes like realising your partner is a narcissist.
Juveriya, believes that primarily, the Ick is the result of our expectations of a ‘perfect partner’. “It is unrealistic to wish for someone without flaws, but we tend to romanticise the idea of perfection and when we start realising that our partner or the crush has flaws, that induces a reaction which we call the Ick,” she adds.
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Getting Past The Ick
The Ick can be a hard feeling to ignore and is especially irritating when it becomes a pattern. However it doesn’t have to destroy your relationship and in most cases, it is possible to get rid of it. Juveriya suggests that the first step is to identify what is causing the Ick. In case of a serious reason such as, abuse, detachment or disrespect, the expert suggests to walking away or at least reflecting on your relationship. But in terms of a tertiary reason, we can have an open and honest conversation with our partner and ourselves. For example, if there is a certain habit of your partner that irritates you, you should talk to them about it, but before that ask yourself if it is a big deal or not.
How Common Is The Ick?
A 2025 study analysed TikTok videos to identify some of the most common triggers of the Ick. It asked 125 participants aged 24 to 72 about their own experiences with the Ick:
- 64% reported experiencing the Ick at least once in a relationship
- 42% had stopped dating someone because of it
- 26% had immediately ended a relationship as a result of it
The study also found that women were more likely than men to feel the Ick (75% to 57%).
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Conclusion
It is as natural to feel (un)attracted to someone as it is to feel attracted. However, if getting the ick is regularly hampering your relationships and not allowing you to commit to a long-term relationship, therapy can be a good place to start.