There might not be a single human on this planet who hasn’t experienced anger. It’s one of the many emotions that together make who we are. Although often seen as a negative emotion, it’s usually healthy, says the American Psychological Association. However, it’s a problem when it gets out of control and is destructive. Understandably, it severely affects the person’s relationships, work-life, and overall quality of life. You can understand it this way, it is one of those situations where the emotions control you rather than the other way round.
Although anger is something we all experience at some point in our lives, some get irked quickly and are easily angered. Many also get into an out-and-out rage. In such situations, it’s crucial to manage temper, as once out of hand, it does not just hamper your mood, not to mention your relationships, it can even put your health at risk. You must have experienced that when angry, you feel the heat as your heart rate increases and so does your blood pressure. Hence, you must find out ways to manage your temper better.
What Is Anger & Its Causes?
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Before we look at ways on how to manage it, we need to understand anger better. Anger is but one of the many human emotions whose intensity can vary from mild irritation to a full-fledged fury. It’s often associated with an increase in heart rate and blood pressure. Anger can be triggered by numerous scenarios, some of the common ones include:
- A person, a friend, coworkers, family member, might be the reason.
- A stressful situation, when you feel things aren’t going your way, is another reason.
- Life’s hardships and problems can often lead to anger.
- Recalling past traumas is another reason.
How Do People Express Anger?
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Although all of us feel anger, we all express it differently. Here are some of the ways we do so:
- Expressing: It’s a healthy way to handle this emotion. However, how you express it matters. Either you can communicate your concerns well by stating clearly what’s bothering you without hurting anyone’s feelings, or you can get into a full-on rage mode, shouting, sulking, and negatively affecting the people around you.
- Suppressing: Many tend to suppress anger, maybe because they feel they don’t wield any power against the situation or do not want to hurt others. There can be ‘n’ number of causes. But suppressing anger and letting it build up inside you is not seen as a good approach. As a result of this suppression, you might start directing the anger towards you, or it can even heavily define your personality. You might get grumpy often, if not always, can be seen as cynical and always in a bad mood. Quite understandably, people might distance themselves from you.
- Calming: You might have crossed paths with some who never seem to get angry. These might be those who adopt a calming approach to express their anger. Instead of expressing it or letting it build up, they try to calm themselves down, by taking steps to lower their heart rate and getting their breathing back to normal.
Also read: Does Hearing A ‘No’ Makes You Angry? You May Be Having Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria
How To Manage Anger
Although you wield little control over how you feel, you can be fully in charge of how you express yourself. Anger is one of those powerful emotions that are healthy but can easily backfire on you if expressed in the wrong way, in front of the wrong people, and at the wrong time. To save you the troubles ahead, it is better to learn some tricks that can help you manage them. Here are some tricks to manage anger that can help you:
- Try Relaxing: Yes, we know, this is a hard one. When you are completely overtaken by anger, relaxing can be a tough thing to do. But just recall how you feel in such a situation, your heart rate increases, your blood pressure shoots up, your muscles get tensed. Adopting a calming approach can help you in this one. Practice deep breathing, visualise a relaxing view, meditate, or do yoga, if you can. Once you relax, you will be able to judge the situation better and can better come up with the correct way to react.
- Watch Your Thoughts & Reactions: Some shout, swear and throw things when angry. Many sulk and brood. Your thoughts can also get exaggerated and dramatic when you are angry. In such a situation, what helps is to watch, both your thoughts as well as reaction. Analyse if what you are thinking is justified or is completely irrational. Once you take a step back, you can better judge the situation and come up with a better solution.
- Solve The Problem: Yes, extreme hardships and crises can trigger anger. It’s justified. There might be a situation where there is no way out. In such a situation, try to find a possible solution rather than fretting over the problems. The going can be difficult, but you will positively direct your energies.
- Try To Communicate Better: As expressing is one of the healthy ways to express anger, you must find ways to communicate it better. If you are in the middle of a heated discussion, try to slow yourself down to prevent the situation from getting out of hand. You can either diffuse the situation or can make it worse, it’s for you to decide. So, instead of saying the first thing that comes to your mind, slow down & think about the consequences. This can help you to address the situation better.
- Change Your Surroundings: Sometimes your immediate environment might be the trigger. A coworker sitting next to you, a toxic job, or an uncooperative roommate. If caught up in such a situation, changing your environment can help you avert anger.
- Avoid: Sometimes instead of addressing or processing, just avoiding the situation is better. If a coworker annoys you, better to avoid his/her antics, if you cannot keep up with what is expected from you, try prioritising your priorities. Sometimes, avoidance can be the way to bliss.
Also read: Are You Raising An Angry Child? Here Are 4 Signs To Watch Out For
Often society discourages us from expressing anger. It’s seen as a negative emotion. But emotions aren’t things that are either good or bad. They are what makes us who we are -- humans. Hence, let yourself feel emotions of every colour. Do not discourage anyone to do the same too. In the end, how you react matters rather than the emotion itself.
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