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Five Signs You Are Stuck In a Trauma Bond

Being in a bad relationship can be terrible for your mental, psychological and emotional well-being. Watch out for these five signs.

Chanchal Sengar
Written by: Chanchal SengarUpdated at: Dec 24, 2022 09:00 IST
Five Signs You Are Stuck In a Trauma Bond

A trauma bond is an unhealthy relationship dynamic that develops when a person is stuck in a cycle of pain, hurt, and abuse. It often occurs between two people in an intimate relationship or even family members; however, it can also happen between people who do not have a close connection. Trauma bonds are formed when one person continually inflicts hurt on the other, and the victim remains in the same situation due to the emotional attachment. 

Trauma bonds are dangerous because they keep victims from seeing reality clearly and cause them to stay loyal to their abuser despite feeling significant emotional pain. Recognizing the signs of a trauma bond is essential to break free and to move on with your life. 

Dr. Chandni Tugnait is M.D. (Alternative Medicines), Psychotherapist, Life Coach, Business Coach, NLP Expert, Healer, Founder & Director – Gateway of Healing shares five common signs that you may be stuck in a trauma bond:

1. You Feel Insecure Without Them

If something is missing when your partner or family member isn't around, it could signify being emotionally attached or dependent upon them. This type of attachment is unhealthy because it prevents you from forming healthy relationships with other people and can lead to feelings of loneliness when away from your abuser.

Also Read: What Is Social Trauma, How To Deal With It

2. You Minimize Their Behavior

signs of being stuck in trauma bond

Individuals stuck in a trauma bond tend to downplay their partner's destructive behaviors and make excuses for them, instead of recognizing the severity of the issue. This behavior enables abusive actions by providing justification for why those actions do not need to be addressed or changed.

3. You Have Low Self-Esteem

Victims often stay in trauma bonds because they areconvinced that they deserve mistreatment or don’t think they could do better than their current situation. Low self-esteem keeps people trapped in relationships where they are treated as less and prevents them from recognizing their worth and seeking healthier relationships elsewhere. 

Also Read: How Betrayal Causes Trauma? Know Effects, Signs And Tips For Recovery

4. You Stay for Fear of Retaliation

signs of trauma bond

Victims of trauma bonds may fear repercussions if they try to leave the situation or speak up against their abuser’s behavior, so they stay silent instead. This fear is understandable, given past experiences with physical or psychological attacks. However, staying silent only reinforces the power dynamics within the relationship, which keeps victims from escaping their perpetrator's control. 

5. Your Partner Promises Change

Abusers will often promise change without taking steps towards changing their behavior; this keeps victims hopeful that things might get better one day, even though there’s no evidence that any change has occurred or will take place anytime soon. 

Recognizing these signs is the key to breaking free from a traumatic bond and living life on your terms again; however, this process can be tricky since it requires tremendous strength, courage, trust, and a support system inside and outside your relationship. If you are stuck in a trauma bond, reach out to trusted family members, friends, or qualified therapists for emotional support during the challenging times before making any drastic changes in your relationship.

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