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Raghu Ram, best known as a judge of the reality TV show Roadies, is making headlines for his upcoming movie. During the promotional activity, Raghu sat down on the UNTRIGGERED Podcast with AminJaz and talked about his first experience with intimacy. The former judge shared how he felt ‘disgusted’ after losing his virginity at the age of 21. He felt bad about it and as if he had destroyed someone’s life after having sexual intercourse.
Just like Raghu, many people have different thoughts and experience a wide range of emotions during their first sexual encounter. We reached out to our expert to know about the common feelings people have following physical intimacy for the first time.
What Are Common Feelings After Having Sex For The First Time?
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Having sex with your partner for the first time is a very personal and important moment. It often brings a mix of feelings, both emotional and physical. This experience can mean different things to different people, influenced by their culture, and personal beliefs. Our expert, Nanda Botadkar, ICF InnerMost Shift Coach, (as per her LinkedIn), shared that when Raghu Ram of Roadies shared that he felt disgusted after losing his virginity, it seemed at odds with his bold, rebellious image.
According to her, this is a common experience for many, especially in India, where culture and tradition heavily influence emotions about sexual intercourse. It tugs and pulls at your values and belief system making you feel hazy between giving in to body desires and holding up moral values learnt.
Here’s why guilt or discomfort often arises, and how to view things differently.
Conflict Between Personal and Societal Values
In Indian culture, virginity is often seen as a symbol of purity and family honour, especially for women.
This belief makes losing virginity outside marriage feel like breaking a rule.
For those caught between modern ideas of freedom and traditional values, this can lead to guilt, even if the experience was consensual and wanted.
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Silence Around Sex
Many Indian families don’t openly discuss sex, leaving young people to learn about it from unreliable or judgmental sources.
This creates confusion and makes sex feel like something “wrong.”
Because of this silence, the first experience can feel awkward, unsettling, or even shameful, simply because it goes against what has always been left unsaid.
Feeling Out of Control
In India, self-control is often linked to being a “good” person.
Giving in to sexual desire can feel like losing control or failing morally.
Thoughts like “I gave in to temptation” come from this belief and can make you overly critical of yourself, even if it was a natural and mutual decision.
The pressure of the “First Time”
Society and movies often hype up the first sexual experience, making it seem like a perfect, life-changing moment.
When reality doesn’t match these unrealistic expectations, it can lead to regret or disappointment, making it hard to accept the experience for what it was.
Clash Between Old and New Values
Modern ideas about freedom often conflict with traditional teachings, causing confusion for people.
The clash encourages reflection and dialogue, allowing societies to find a balance between respecting cultural heritage and embracing modern ideals.
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Conclusion
In the end, Nanda shares that “one experience doesn’t define you. Be kind to yourself as you navigate these feelings.” The feeling may be subjective for individuals but one must own up to the fact that it does not make them down. However, it is not linked with societal norms or values. Losing virginity does not degrade your values or make you a bad human. If going through mental pressure, one can always refer to a professional and seek help regarding the thoughts.