Infertility can affect both men and women. The World Health Organization (WHO) describes infertility as a disease of the male or female reproductive system characterised by the inability to achieve a pregnancy after 12 months or more of regular, unprotected sexual intercourse.
A 2023 report by the WHO suggested that around 17.5% of the adult population, equal to roughly 1 in 6 worldwide, experience infertility. While there are numerous causes and contributing factors, one thing is common in most individuals: strain in relationships between couples.
Speaking with the OnlyMyHealth team, Dr Pallavi Prasad, Nova IVF Fertility, Basaveshwaranagar, Bengaluru, discusses some of the common relationship challenges couples fail and shares tips to overcome them.
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Infertility Can Take An Emotional Toll On Couples
While infertility is a physical problem, it can have various psychological and emotional effects.
Dr Prasad says, "The emotional toll that infertility takes on couples is one of the biggest obstacles they must overcome. Anxiety, hopelessness, guilt, and annoyance are common emotions that can cause a breakdown in communication. Couples may find it difficult to communicate their emotions to one another or may be reluctant to burden one another with them. When communication is absent, both partners may feel lonely in their struggles and experience isolation."
As per the WHO, although both women and men can experience infertility, women in a relationship with a man are often said to suffer from infertility, regardless of whether or not they are infertile.
The health body also highlights the pressure couples face to prove their fertility at an early age, leading them to stop using contraception. In such a scenario, awareness is the key.
How to overcome: Open and honest communication is crucial, says Dr Prasad, advising couples to set aside time to talk about their feelings, fears, and hopes. Seeking counselling together can also provide a safe space to explore these emotions and learn healthy communication techniques.
Different Coping Strategies
A study published in the journal Dialogues in Clinical Neuroscience suggests that infertility can naturally cause feelings of shame, guilt, and low self-esteem, which may in turn lead to depression, anxiety, distress, and a poor quality of life.
Different people have different ways of coping with a particular situation or an emotion. While one partner may choose to talk about the problem all the time, the other may choose to avoid the conversation or divert their attention, says Dr Prasad, adding that these different coping strategies might cause miscommunication and resentment.
How to overcome: The key is to acknowledge and value one another's coping mechanisms. Talk about your requirements and come to an arrangement that benefits you both. Establishing points of agreement, such as shared hobbies that are comforting and interesting, might also help you grow closer.
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Intimacy Issues
Infertility isn’t the end of the world, as some may believe it to be. There are various technological advancements that can assist in improving your chances of conceiving a child. However, the stress of infertility and the tedious process of undergoing fertility treatments can all contribute to intimacy issues between the couples.
“Infertility treatments often turn intercourse into a scheduled, goal-oriented activity, stripping it of spontaneity and intimacy. This might worsen the relationship by causing a drop in sexual satisfaction or even a total lack of intimacy,” says Dr Prasad.
How to overcome: According to the doctor, re-establishing closeness is crucial. In addition to looking into non-sexual ways of showing affection, couples should endeavour to re-establish an emotional connection, he says, adding, “Restoring the joy of being together can be facilitated by making time for closeness without the pressure of conception.”
Social Isolation
Sometimes, the thought of what others may think precedes the sadness that comes with infertility. Sometimes, the fear of judgement from others can overshadow the emotional pain associated with infertility. As discussed, the societal pressure to conceive and the stigma around infertility can intensify feelings of inadequacy and isolation—so much so that couples might stay away from social engagements due to the fear of being judged. This is more intense when friends and family may not understand them.
How to overcome: Through counselling, support groups, or interacting with people going through similar struggles, couples can get help from people who understand them. Sharing your journey with trustworthy family members or friends may also help to reduce feelings of loneliness and offer emotional support.
Conclusion
Infertility is a common problem faced around the world. From underlying medical conditions to stress to lifestyle choices, many factors can contribute to it. While there are various treatments in today’s time, the thought of not being able to conceive or have a child causes significant distress to individuals in a relationship. Couples, regardless of which partner is infertile, experience emotional strain, societal pressure, and a wide range of mental health challenges. It is during this time that couples need to remain strong, united, and supportive of one another. Communication is the key, but additionally, couples should acknowledge each other's mental state.