Parenting Tips: What Is The Birthplace Of Anxiety? How It Starts And Builds Up On Our Life?

Treat anxiety. You deserve to live free from it! Kavyal Sedani hypnotherapist and a Corporate trainer shares the need to understand anxiety.

Tavishi Dogra
Written by: Tavishi DograPublished at: Oct 18, 2020Updated at: Oct 18, 2020
Parenting Tips: What Is The Birthplace Of Anxiety? How It Starts And Builds Up On Our Life?

Ever noticed the shocked expression on the faces of parents when they tell you, "I don't know-how my baby wakes up just when I am about to leave for work? I tiptoe the room and get dressed in the dark not want to wake her the minute I pick up my bag to leave, she will wake up and cry, and I get delayed. I hate to leave her crying but then, I have to give her to her dadi and dada out. I feel so guilty!" Narrations like that may want to make you believe that kids are little spies in their ways. Or they have an extrasensory perception.. actually, both are correct! Kavyal Sedani a psychotherapist and NLP practitioner says that now we need to understand that anxiety is pretty much like a "shape-shifting monster"; it will keep changing forms and excuses, but it will stay until it is healed.


Separation anxiety

Kids are so connected to their mothers when they are little that they find comfort in the smell of the mother.. don't kid yourself; these kids have extremely sharp senses. When the mother gets dressed, even if it is pitch dark, their brains now begin to collect information on an everyday basis of the fragrances of the soaps and powders and perfumes used...and directly they also have collected the data that a few minutes after these smells come, my mother vanishes.

It is these fragrances that trigger the anxiety that it's time for mom to leave! When the kids are tiny, and the mother has to leave them to go to work forcibly, and they take time to calm down or settle, that is the beginning of what we call "separation anxiety".

Also Read: Kids During Vacations Are Easy Targets For Injuries. Follow These Precautions And Emergency Care Tips

Developmental anxiety

So after the baby age has been overcome, and now the kid grows into a beautiful school going child, the same unhealed separation anxiety shifts itself to "Developmental anxiety". This is the anxiety about growing up, about their changing body, about standing first in school, about judgements of others, about the teachers shouting, about being bullied, about tests and remarks and almost everything else that is a part of growing up.

Also Read: Save Your Child From Bullies With These 7 Internet Safety Tips

Social anxiety


New stages, new names to the same pressure, so as this child develops further into a college-going student or a newly appointed employee, this anxiety will turn itself into "Performance anxiety", which could also be "Social anxiety" in social situations. Performance anxiety is a constant pressure of not being able to do your best, or the fear of rejection, failure, the fear of ridicule etc.

GAD: Generalised anxiety disorder

If the Intensity of anxiety is very high, it could also lead to Obsessive-Compulsive disorder, which is if the Intensity is low, but fear has almost become a way of being. In adulthood, it would lead to "GAD, generalised anxiety disorder", which is stress is also passed on through touch. So anxious parents very often unknowingly raise eager children.

Parenting Tip: What needs to be understood about anxiety is that it starts as a small negative voice in your the head that knows everything about you, and threatens to use all that information against you, till eventually, it becomes the loudest voice in the room.

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