Decoding Sexting: A Psychologist Weighs In on the Concept, Consequences, and Control

What’s wrong with sending those flirty, sassy messages with a sensual touch to your partner? Nothing much, until sexting becomes an addiction, taking you into the DMs of your distant friend or with anyone you are casually talking to.

In the digital age, sexting is far more common than you might think, and its effects vary depending on the relationship between the two individuals involved in the sexts. Up to a point, it is even considered healthy for couples to keep their relationship sizzling, but there is only a fine line before it can lead to mental distress, causing you to constantly think about sexual activities and affecting your self-esteem.

To gain more insights about what risks sexting carries and when one should worry about this habit, we spoke to Mr S Giriprasad, Psychologist, Aster Whitefield Hospital, Bengaluru. Keep reading to find out if you are also harming your mental health through sexts.

What Exactly Is Sexting?

Sexting is a combination of sex and texting, which is basically the act of sending sexually explicit videos, images, or normal text through direct messages or any online platforms such as Instagram or Snapchat. If you have been sending your partner, or someone you are casually talking to, those racy texts, yes, you are in the loop of sexting, which might soon become an addiction or a mental health issue for you.

A study published in the JAMA Network states that one in seven teens admits to sending sexually explicit texts, while one in four admits to receiving them.

According to the Cleveland Clinic, sexting is more prevalent among adolescents and young teenagers aged 11 to 17. Most studies report that sexting has become a normal part of modern-day sexual behaviour and dating, and it has also increased online harassment, cyberbullying, and blackmail, negatively impacting overall well-being because of non-consensual sexting.

Is Sexting Normal?

Reports indicate that sexting within a relationship is actually normal and even helps strengthen the bond when the two are not physically available for each other. It also helps you overcome hesitation in discussing sexual topics or keep the bond interesting.

Psychologist, Dr Giriprasad agreed, saying, “Sexting can be a good, safe, even loving thing when there is trust, consent, and good talk. It is normal between two adults who are in love or dating, as long as it does not hurt each other’s feelings or use those conversations negatively later.”

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When To Worry About Your Sexting Habit?

Dr Giriprasad warns that if you engage in sexting more than once a day and you cannot stop, or if your sexual life majorly depends on sexting, it is time to worry. Here are a few factors shared by the psychologist when one needs to worry about this habit:

• If sexting is driving your sexual life.
• If sexting has become a way to feel good instead of just a fun activity with your partner.
• If you cannot spend a day without sexting.
• If you have to sext to keep your partner involved in your relationship.
• If you are using sexual messaging to get validation.
• If sharing these texts has crossed personal boundaries.
• If you are spending too much time on your mobile phone to keep that sexting spark alive.

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Risks Of Sexting

Sexting comes with several risks that not only harm your mental health but also start shaping and changing your personality. Dr Giriprasad highlights that indulging in these sexual messages not only makes you lose your confidence but can also lead you to indulge in other risky activities, in the worst case, leading to cybercrime and blackmail. Below are a few risks of sexting that individuals should be aware of:

• For young people, sexting can cause them to be groomed, pressured, and get involved with unsafe groups.
• Sexting can break a relationship if it is a back door to being loved, or if one person depends on it too much.
• When sexting becomes an addiction, individuals start involving themselves with others via text, leading them to cheat on their partner or break trust.
• When sexting takes up too much time, it can make people tired, hurt their sleep, and stop them from focusing on other things.
• Engaging in sexting reluctantly or under pressure can create deep feelings of inadequacy and loss of personal boundaries.
• When approval or validation becomes dependent on sexual messaging, it can harm self-esteem, your confidence, and your overall sense of identity.
• It leads to overthinking and anxiety when it makes an individual feel sad, guilty, ashamed, or scared to be seen.
• Sexting gives you shame, worry, and stress if people see what you sent or if boundaries are crossed.

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Worst Part Of Sexting - Doctor Quotes

Sexting affects your privacy and increases the chances of facing cybercrimes, blackmail, or threats. Dr Giriprasad explained, “Sexting mainly affects privacy, feelings, and safety online. Sexting leaves a trail of things on the internet, and once you send a photo or message, you cannot really take it back. This can lead to threats, manipulation, revenge posting, or accidental leaks.”

People can also get scared or nervous about others taking screenshots, leaking information, or losing privacy, which can make daily life hard and take a toll on their mental health.

How To Not Make Sexting Harmful to Your Health?

What begins as a source of fun and pleasure can soon turn into an addiction, creating problems for you not only in the online world but also in your real life. It affects your calibre to achieve and focus on your studies and other responsibilities, making it crucial to gradually work on this habit. Dr Giriprasad underlines a few ways one can stop sexting:

• Recognising the triggers, which can be boredom, loneliness, stress, or the reward of attention, and finding other positive ways to deal with them.
• Setting boundaries like limiting phone access at night, or setting a specific time to use your gadgets.
• Understanding the fine line when a normal conversation is going in the direction of sexting and blocking those points.
• Uninstalling certain apps can also help reduce the impulse.
• Engaging in healthier alternatives to manage emotions, such as exercise, journaling, therapy, or spending time with friends in real life, restores balance.
• If sexting is compensating for unmet emotional needs, working on self-esteem and communication skills becomes essential.
• In cases where the compulsion is strong, professional therapy can help address underlying issues such as anxiety, depression, or attachment insecurities.

Bottomline

Experts believe that in the digital world, nothing can be avoided or stopped 100%, but setting clear priorities, making the right choice for your personal and professional life, and giving priority to real-world instances more than online validation significantly helps. Sexting not only brings health concerns, but in severe cases, directly or indirectly, it can lead to criminal offences as a victim or perpetrator. Having a clear conversation with friends, family, your partner, or your therapist can help you find support and a path forward.