Do you fume with anger when you do not get your morning cup of tea or coffee or your usual breakfast on time? Does your blood pressure soar up when something does not go your way? Do you get angry and feel irritated over small things? Then this article is definitely for you.
Managing anger can be challenging but uncontrolled anger can take a toll on your relationships and health. A study published by the National Institute of Health states that a lack of anger control adversely affects an individual’s mental as well as physical health. Thus, it is important to deal with it in a positive manner. To understand better on how to understand the source and emotions behind the anger and manage it, OnlyMyHealth team interacted with Sargun Bedi, Counselling Psychologist, Lucid Mind, Ghaziabad.
When you feel angry, certain behavioural patterns are seen. Describing them, Bedi said, “The behaviour when feeling angry varies in intensity and depends from person to person. Verbal aggression, such as yelling, shouting, cursing can be one type and physical being another, one can let his or her anger out by hitting, throwing objects or slamming doors.” Some people do not express anger, instead they go silent and may isolate themselves. As per Bedi, anger can be visible through one’s body language as well such as clenched fists, tense muscles, or furrowed eyebrows.
Understanding Emotions Behind Anger
According to Bedi, anger is often a secondary emotion that is typically triggered by underlying primary emotions or feelings. Explaining further, Sargun said, “Understanding emotions behind anger can help individuals better manage their anger and address its root causes.”
Describing emotions behind anger, Bedi said, “Some common emotions contribute to anger such as feeling of frustration, feeling hurt or betrayed, feeling fearful of certain situations. In fact feeling sad or disappointed about something can also surface up in anger. A sense of insecurity, injustice or no control over something can also turn out as anger. Even feeling jealous can also make a person angry.”
But why is it important to comprehend the emotions behind anger? To this, Bedi said, “By gaining insight into the root causes of your anger, you can learn to navigate your emotions more skilfully and cultivate a greater sense of emotional balance and fulfilment in your life. By identifying and addressing the underlying emotions behind anger, individuals can develop healthier ways of coping and managing their emotions.”
Also read: How To Treat Anger Issues In Children, Expert Weighs In
Identifying Source Of Anger
The most important of managing anger is identifying the source of it. Explaining on how to identify sources of anger, Bedi said, “Identifying the source of anger involves introspection, observation, and reflection. Observing your thoughts and beliefs, reflecting on what triggered you in that moment of rage, introspecting on finding themes or patterns that come up every time you feel anger towards yourself or others.”
Also read: How To Manage Anger In Children With Autism Through Therapy
Effective Ways To Manage Anger
As per Bedi, to deal with anger effectively, one must recognise and manage one’s emotions in a healthy manner. Bedi helped us list down these ways to deal with anger.
- When you feel that anger is starting to creep in, take a step back from the situation and give yourself some time to cool down and regain perspective before responding.
- Practise deep breathing exercises, this will help you calm your mind and body and tone down your anger.
- Instead of bottling up your anger or lashing out aggressively, express yourself assertively and constructively. “Use "I" statements to communicate your feelings and needs without blaming or accusing others. For example, say "I feel frustrated when..." instead of "You always make me angry when...",” Bedi said.
- Try to see the situation from another person’s perspective and understand their feelings and emotions as well.
- Engage in physical activity as it can help release the pent-up energy and tension when you are angry.
- Seek support and talk to a friend, family member or your therapist about your anger.
- Practise mindfulness techniques which will help you stay in the present moment and create awareness of your thoughts, emotions, and bodily sensations.
- Set clear boundaries to prevent situations that trigger anger and protect your emotional well-being.