From the time of conceiving to birth and upbringing mothers play an important role in everyone’s life. However, the women who decide to undergo IVF or adopt a child, or opt for surrogacy to become mothers have experienced numerous complications on their journey to motherhood. They go through emotional distress of not being able to become a mother through the “normal way”. But why is only one way deemed appropriate in the society? Women who opt for unconventional ways of pregnancy experience numerous psychological issues that cause a long-term impact on their lives.
Psychological Issues Faced By Women During Alternative Pregnancy Methods
The path to Motherhood is not easy for women dealing with fertility issues. Infertility is an extremely sensitive issue especially for a woman who has always longed to be a mother. Repeated attempts at conceiving and being met with failure takes an emotional toll on them. The suffering increases when they see other friends and family members being able to get pregnant easily. They first have to accept the fact that conventional way of becoming a mother will not work for them. A woman feels strong emotions during the journey of motherhood, whether it is through IVF, surrogacy, or through an adoption. Some may feel hopeful, while some are anxious and stressed about the results. In this article, Diana Crasta, Chief Psychological Counsellor at Nova IVF Fertility, Bangalore talks about psychological issues faced by women during unconventional pregnancy methods.
Undergoing IVF to become a mother
The process of IVF comes with its own set of challenges. There are treatment cycles involving medications and tests. There is also the anticipation about whether or not the IVF cycle will be successful. IVF is an emotional rollercoaster and can be stressful. Women will already be coping with their own or their partner’s fertility struggles and the stigma and external judgments surrounding IVF make them feel like a failure unconsciously.
- When a woman is undergoing fertility treatments, she needs support from her partner, loved ones, friends, and family to make her feel loved and accepted.
- It is essential for expecting mothers to surround themselves with people who genuinely believe that every mother is a real mother, irrespective of how one achieves it.
- Their circle of friends and family need to be educated, empathetic, and most importantly, non-judgemental to comfort the mother-to-be.
Undergoing Surrogacy To Embrace Motherhood
Lately, we have seen many B-town celebs opting for surrogacy to embrace motherhood. Priyanka Chopra, Preity Zinta, Shilpa Shetty, are some big names that welcomed their children through surrogacy. There are many notions associated with surrogacy, for example:
- Couple is opting for surrogacy because they are not able to become parents naturally mostly considering the woman to be infertile
- The woman doesn’t want to ruin her figure and so, she is not willing to become pregnant herself and hence opting for surrogacy
- The couple wants the baby to be a certain colour or community and so, they hire a respective surrogate for that
These are some hard-hitting vague notions that impact the mother badly more than the father. Since, society always blames the woman no matter what and so, everything comes to them. Because of this, the biological mother has to suffer from these psychological issues:
- Guilt- If you cannot be a mother naturally, you feel guilty, in the first place.
- Disappointment- When family members and other people question your decision of surrogacy, it induces feeling of disappointment in you. All of a sudden, you feel worthless.
- Fear of losing the baby- Since baby is in the surrogate’s womb, you cannot feel its movements. This continuously makes you fearful.
- Anxiety- Assisted conception treatments also make you anxious of the results as these do not guarantee 100% results.
- Poor connect with the baby- Women who keep the baby in their womb for 9 months are said to be more emotionally attached with the baby and vice-versa. So, mothers do fear that their baby might not get connected with her easily.
On the brighter side, society is evolving. Many women, especially celebrities are opening up about their fertility struggles and several have undergone IVF to become mothers. Their children are happy and healthy. These moms have overcome their struggles and apprehensions. They became mothers despite the odds being stacked against them. These women are inspiration to aspiring mothers who are dealing with fertility problems. They are the epitome of “where there is a will, there is a way”
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