Modern Love And Mental Health: How Dating Apps, Situationships Make ‘Finding Love’ Emotionally Draining

Online shopping seems fun – you get to choose what you want, that too from so many options. And they deliver them right at your doorstep. What if you don’t like what you get? No problem, you can always hit the ‘return’ or ‘replace’ button. But wait… we are not talking about products here. We are talking about 'matches'! Yes, using a dating app feels a lot like online shopping – only difference is here, you are ‘shopping’ for a companion or potential partner. You keep swiping, and get to choose from a plethora of options. Within seconds of matching, you can meet your date. No harm if it doesn’t go well, because the ‘block’ or ‘unmatch’ option is always there on dating apps. But is this what love has come to?

Millions are using dating apps to find love in today’s world. But too many options and rushed dates often make everything superficial, lacking real connection. On top of that, there’s situationships, ghosting and what not – all these add up to the already existing complications of modern love.

To get a better idea, we interacted with young and eligible singles, who shared how the toxic loop of dating apps and situationships feel emotionally draining. To get an expert view on how dating apps and modern dating trends impact mental health, we interacted with Dhvani Satija, Psychiatrist, Fortis Hospital, Faridabad and Dr Divya Shree KR, Consultant – Psychiatry, Aster CMI Hospital, Bangalore.

‘Endless Options, No Real Connection’: The Toxic Loop Of Dating Apps

Dating apps come with its own cons. Let’s hear it out from those who feel they are doing more harm than good, when it comes to finding a partner.

“Dating apps create the illusion of infinite choice, which paradoxically makes everyone more disposable. Conversations start strong and fade overnight, matches vanish with no context, and genuine connection gets buried under algorithms and swipes,” shares Saumya Rastogi, a 28-year-old Delhi-based journalist.

Trisha (name changed) seconds this view. The 34-year-old Delhi-based Communication Manager believes dating apps are probably the most mentally exhausting part of modern dating. She shares, “The constant swiping, texting, and trying to sustain conversations that may not go anywhere feels draining.”

“I’ve been on dating apps since 2016 and have tried many of them. Over time, we get numb and mindlessly swipe left or right without even checking the full profile. The idea of finding genuine love gets lost in this noise, ironically created by the very apps designed to remove it,” says Karan Cheema.

The 27-year-old Delhi-based Marketing Consultant adds, “When you match with multiple people at once, you end up having several conversations simultaneously; this prevents you from truly getting to know anyone. Everything remains superficial, which adds to the burnout. The whole activity feels monotonous. Overall, a mix of all these factors contributes to dating burnout.”

For Anshuman Aryav, dating apps often feel like an endless cycle of matching, texting, getting emotionally attached and then being ghosted. “Then I keep uninstalling the app, just to install it again. These apps make you feel like everyone is replaceable, including yourself,” shares the 24-year-old Delhi-based Media Professional.

Also Read: Modern Love And Mental Health – Millennials And Gen Zs Share Tales Of Dating Burnout; Experts Weigh In

‘Closeness Without Clarity’: How Situationships Fuel Dating Burnout

No strings attached. Friends with benefits and the list goes on – many modern couples are exploring relationships which go beyond the traditional dating setup. Among them, situationship is pretty common these days. It is a setup where couples date, but do not commit to each other or label their relationship. The youth often finds this ‘situation’ confusing and taxing.

“Situationships are another big drain, apart from dating apps, as they blur the lines so much that you’re constantly questioning where you stand. ‘Are we dating? Are we something? Am I allowed to expect basic respect?’ That ambiguity weighs heavily on your mental health because it keeps you emotionally invested without offering clarity or security,” shares Rastogi.

Trisha believes that situationships are equally exhausting because they come with emotional investment but no clarity or commitment. “The unpredictability — people getting cold suddenly, ghosting, or not wanting the same things — makes it hard to feel grounded, and that emotional instability is what drains me the most,” she adds.

Anubha Shriwas too feels the same way. “In situationships, you never get clarity on where the relationship stands. Even after it gets over, you have a hard time moving on because you keep wondering and figuring out what the relationship actually was,” mentions the 22-year-old Delhi-based Journalist.

“Situationships are exhausting. You get the emotional closeness without clarity, and that confusion eats into your mental peace, including your behaviours,” Aryav weighs in. He continues, “You don’t know how much to invest or what to expect, and every action feels like a negotiation with your thoughts and feelings. And the overall pace of modern dating is tiring, like everything happens fast, but nothing really goes well.”

Why Are Youth Experiencing ‘Dating Burnout’? Experts Explain

What makes modern love so exhausting for the youth? Our experts attempt to decode.

“Burnout arises when hope and effort feel imbalanced. Unfortunately, that's increasingly the case in today's dating landscape. The culture of modern dating is based on endless choice, with limited emotional security. Keeping track of dozens of matches, conversations, and disappointments feels like emotional multitasking. The brain simply wasn't designed to handle this degree of social scrutiny, and perpetual decision-making quickly turns exhausting,” explains Dr Satija.

She adds that young people also describe a lingering fear of not being ‘enough’. “Social media and dating apps amplify this by encouraging comparisons. The comparison fatigue erodes self-esteem and begets emotional exhaustion,” says the expert.

Dr Shree KR shares her point of view. She explains, “Many youth experience ‘dating burnout’ today because modern dating often involves constant online communication, swiping on apps, and meeting multiple people quickly, which can feel exhausting and overwhelming. The pressure to impress, respond fast, or maintain a perfect image can create stress and anxiety. While repeated ghosting, rejection, or short-term flings can lead to emotional fatigue and disappointment. So, dating burnout happens when emotional energy is drained.”

How Dating Apps Impact Mental Health

Online dating and dating apps can impact mental health. Our expert explains how.

“This is because they often focus on quick judgements based on photos and profiles, which can make people feel judged, rejected, or insecure. Online dating can reduce emotional connection and trust, making it harder to form meaningful relationships,” mentions Dr Shree KR.

Giving a detailed analysis, Dr Satija shares, “Dating apps are designed to keep users engaged. Every match, message, or ‘like’ sets off a little dopamine release. Over time, people start linking their sense of desirability with app feedback. Without matches coming, or if someone disappears after a promising conversation, it can feel disproportionately painful.”

She continues, “The constant swiping also encourages emotional detachment. When people feel interchangeable, they may struggle to form deep connections offline. This reinforces loneliness, even when they’re interacting with dozens of potential partners. Inconsistent communication ghosting, slow fading, or sudden endings also generates anxiety, particularly in those who have more sensitive attachment styles.”

“In a nutshell, dating apps may be useful tools, but their psychological toll is undoubtedly serious,” concludes Dr Satija.

Also Read: Why Shorter Men Are Winning on Dating Apps? Height Isn’t the Flex, But Emotional Depth Is, Says Study

The Final Word

Modern love comes with its own set of baggage. Dating apps and situationships have complicated things further. While it has become easy to find a date in today’s world, real connection is often missing. Moreover, these apps and new dating trends take a toll on the youth’s mental health as well.