Have you ever felt guilty about overreacting to small things, which you could have easily let go of? Life can sometimes be challenging, making even the calmest people feel upset. When things like appointments getting delayed, technology failure, or people being critical happen, we might react too strongly because we're irritated. However, if we respond calmly and thoughtfully, treating these small problems with mindfulness, they can help us become emotionally stronger and keep our peace of mind.
We spoke to Dr Chandni Tugnait, MD (Alternative Medicines), Psychotherapist, Life Coach, Business Coach, NLP Expert, Healer, Founder and Director, Gateway of Healing, who explained the factors behind overreacting and how to deal with it.
Why Do People Overreact?
Overreacting happens when we become too focused on our thoughts and feelings, according to Psychology Today.
The first step toward mastering emotional resilience is understanding why we overreact. It frequently comes down to a mix of factors as listed by Dr Tugnait as follows:
- Stress and pressure: Everyday stressors can build up, leaving us with a shorter temper for tiny annoyances.
- Past trauma: Unresolved previous experiences might intensify emotional reactions to current events.
- Feeling helpless or out of control: Feeling helpless or out of control might result in heightened emotional responses.
- Habitual responses: Overreacting can become a learned, habitual behaviour, especially if it is a pattern we have seen or experienced throughout our lives.
Identifying Triggers for Emotional Responses
Identifying triggers is the key to managing emotional reactions. We acquire insight into our conduct by recognising the patterns that kick off our emotional responses. Some common triggers can be unmet expectations, feeling unheard or disrespected, fear of failure or rejection and poor self-regulation, among many others.
Emotional intelligence is an essential skill for avoiding overreactions. It means being able to understand, control, and empathise with others' feelings.
Mindful Responses to Inconvenience
When faced with inconvenience, adopting mindful responses can make a significant difference. Dr Tugnait listed some of the measures that you should follow:
- Breathe consciously while labelling the feelings flooding your system without judgement. Accept the emotions passing through you without becoming you. By creating space between impulse and response, a reaction is chosen, not reflexive.
- Next, contextualise the trigger. Consider what you thought the situation meant and whether your thoughts made the problem seem bigger than it is. Ask yourself if ideas about being on time or being good at something could be making you feel extra angry or hurt. Also, try to understand if you're giving too much meaning to a small event.
- Lastly, bringing yourself back to the simple present moment can calm down intense feelings of frustration. Think about what might help you right now—like taking deep breaths, finding physical comfort, or finding something to laugh about. Doing a small act of kindness for yourself can also ease tension. Instead of dwelling on the story in your mind, focus on your feelings and let them pass. If you need perspective or support, talk to friends you trust or consider seeking help from a professional.
Evolution Through Mindful Effort
Being mindful and making an effort, when we react too much, can help us understand ourselves better and become stronger, not necessarily more in control. Our challenges become opportunities for personal growth.
“Facing small problems is just a normal part of life. If we handle them with emotional strength, it not only makes us feel better but also improves how we get along with others and makes us see life more positively”, emphasised Dr Tugnait.
Can we notice when we're making a big deal out of something small and gently correct ourselves? Instead of getting defensive when things bother us, can we try to be more open and flexible? And when we inevitably react strongly, can we be kind to ourselves instead of being too hard on ourselves?
Bottomline
Dr Tugnait concluded, “By practising thoughtful self-awareness, excessive sensitivity begins to unfold as an attempt to find meaning in frustrations. Our rigid aspects gradually transform into areas of deeper comprehension—both within this delicate world and our vulnerability. Instead of trying to fix ourselves, embracing our sensitivities helps us become more complete through kind exploration.”
[Disclaimer: The information in this article is shared by a registered healthcare professional and is for informational purposes only. If you are dealing with any mental health issues, we advise you to consult your expert for the necessary measures.]