In today's fast-paced world, where productivity often seems to be the ultimate measure of success, even the act of relaxing can become a source of stress. This paradox, commonly referred to as "stresslaxing," captures the anxiety that arises when our efforts to unwind only intensify our sense of guilt for not being productive.
Understanding Stresslaxing
Stresslaxing is a relatively new term, but the phenomenon it describes is not. Many of us have experienced the frustration of trying to relax, only to be bombarded by thoughts of all the tasks we have yet to complete. To understand the concept of stresslaxing and how to come over it, OnlyMyHealth team interacted with Dr Dinika Anand, Clinical Psychologist, BLK-Max Super Speciality Hospital, Delhi.
Dr Dinika Anand explains, "Stresslaxing is rooted in the societal pressure to always be doing something. We’ve been conditioned to believe that our worth is tied to our productivity, and this belief makes it difficult for us to truly relax."
The feeling of being caught between the need to rest and the guilt of not working is a familiar one for many. Our minds are constantly racing, filled with a never-ending to-do list that leaves little room for genuine relaxation. We become so focused on what we "should" be doing that even our attempts to rest are overshadowed by a sense of inadequacy.
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The Impact of Unrealistic Expectations
One of the primary drivers of stresslaxing is the unrealistic expectations we set for ourselves. We often measure our success by how much we can accomplish in a day, week, or month, without considering the toll this constant striving takes on our mental and physical health. The version of ourselves that lives in our minds is perpetually dissatisfied, always pushing for more, even when we’re doing our best to manage life’s demands.
Dr Anand adds, "The disconnect between our internal expectations and our on-the-ground reality is a significant factor in stresslaxing. When our goals are unrealistic, we are more likely to feel like we’re falling short, which can make it difficult to truly relax."
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Coping with Stresslaxing
The good news is that there are ways to manage and even overcome stresslaxing. Here are some strategies to help you cope:
Redefine relaxation: Start by challenging the belief that you need to "earn" your rest. Relaxation is not a reward for productivity; it is a necessary part of maintaining your overall well-being. Redefine what rest means to you and recognize that taking a break is an essential part of staying healthy and productive in the long run.
Set realistic goals: Take a close look at your to-do list and ask yourself if your goals are realistic. Are you setting yourself up for success, or are you creating a situation where you are constantly falling short? By aligning your goals with what is feasible, you can reduce the pressure you place on yourself and create more space for relaxation.
Practice self-compassion: Be kind to yourself. Understand that you are doing your best, and it’s okay to take breaks. Self-compassion involves treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer to a friend. This shift in mindset can make it easier to relax without the accompanying guilt.
Mindfulness and meditation: Engage in mindfulness practices that help bring your focus back to the present moment. Techniques such as deep breathing, meditation, or even simple grounding exercises can help quiet the inner critic and allow you to fully embrace moments of rest.
Conclusion
Stresslaxing is a reflection of the pressure we place on ourselves to always be productive. However, by redefining what relaxation means, setting realistic expectations, practicing self-compassion, and embracing mindfulness, we can learn to cope with this paradox. Remember, relaxation is not a luxury; it’s a necessity for your overall well-being.