Harshita Gaur, known for her stellar performance as Dimpy Pandit in the hit series Mirzapur, recently shared her deeply personal struggle with depression. Her journey highlights the often unspoken challenges faced by actors in the entertainment industry, especially those navigating their careers without a godfather. In this candid account, Harshita opens up about the emotional turmoil, societal expectations, and the importance of mental health awareness.
The Highs and Lows of Early Success
After the phenomenal success of Mirzapur, Harshita, like many actors, expected a cascade of offers from top production houses. "I thought I'd be getting calls from Dharma and Yash Raj," she confessed. However, reality did not meet her expectations. The initial excitement of frequent auditions and endless working hours dwindled as the industry’s pace slowed down. Harshita recalls the first audition that landed her the role of Sadda Haq, which she described as clumsy and unrefined. Ironically, it was this raw and unpolished performance that the casting directors loved, propelling her career forward.
The Descent into Depression
The initial period post-Mirzapur was filled with relentless work—14 to 20 hours a day for over two and a half years. When the work finally slowed, the abrupt halt was jarring. Harshita found herself in a vacuum, unfamiliar with the feeling of having no work. "When you don't have any work in Bombay, you don't know what to do," she said, reflecting on her ignorance of dealing with downtime in the industry.
Months passed with little to no work, leading to a significant emotional and physical toll. Harshita isolated herself, barely leaving her home for days at a time. "I pretended to be okay, but I was crying all day," she admitted. This period saw her weight drop drastically, a physical manifestation of her inner turmoil. She struggled with the realisation that her initial success did not guarantee a steady stream of work, a common misconception among newcomers in the industry.
The Turning Point
Harshita’s turning point came when her concerned neighbour, armed with a spare key, found her in a state of distress. This intervention prompted Harshita to seek help. Her mother stayed with her for a month, providing much-needed support. A workshop she attended later became therapeutic, aiding her gradual recovery. "If someone had suggested seeing a therapist back then, I would have done it," she reflected, emphasising the importance of mental health awareness.
The Outsider Syndrome
Despite her success, Harshita still feels the outsider syndrome, a sentiment shared by many non-industry actors. Moving from Delhi to Mumbai, she had no film background or connections. Ten years in, she still feels like an outsider but acknowledges that this term is often used to describe those without industry lineage. "Unless I marry someone from the industry or have children who join it, I will always be an outsider," she stated, accepting this as part of her reality.
Embracing a New Normal
Today, Harshita is more attuned to her mental health. She recognises the signs of emotional distress and is proactive about seeking help. The support from her neighbours, whom she considers her second family, played a crucial role in her recovery. This sense of community has helped her navigate the isolation that often accompanies being an outsider in the industry.
Bottomline
Harshita’s journey underscores the importance of mental health awareness, particularly in the high-pressure environment of the entertainment industry. Her story is a reminder that success does not immunize one against depression and that seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness.
In sharing her story, Harshita hopes to encourage others in similar situations to prioritize their mental health and seek the support they need. "Everything makes sense now," she concludes, embracing her journey with newfound understanding and resilience.