When it comes to pornography, the conversations around it are usually controversial, more so if people watching it are in a relationship. The question of whether porn is good or bad, whether it is appropriate or safe to watch, or if it has a positive or negative impact on people's mindset is widely discussed. Time and again, people have tried to understand its impact on the brain, body, and relationships and still there is no straight answer to it.
Speaking with the OnlyMyHealth team, Dr Sanjay Garg, Consultant-Mental Health and Behavioral Sciences, Fortis Anandapur, Kolkata, said, "The question of whether pornography is "bad" or "good" is subjective and context-dependent." According to him, it can have both positive and negative effects, with its impact determined by the level of comfort and mutual understanding within a relationship. But that's not all. In this article, we will delve deeper into the many ways watching porn can affect a relationship.
Also Read: Report: Porn Addiction Saw A Rise Amid Work From Home Culture
Why People In A Relationship Watch Porn
Pornography websites are among the top 50 most visited websites in the world. But why do people consume pornographic materials in such high amounts has no definite answer.
A study published in the Sage Journals aimed to understand the reasons behind why people watch porn and after analysing the responses by 276 undergraduate psychology students, who were recruited from a Personality Assessment course, the study concluded that each of the reasons can be considered to represent one of the following general themes:
(1) Desire for sex or a high sex drive
(2) learning about sex and improving sexual performance
(3) regulating mood and emotions
For those in a relationship, Dr Garg shared a few other reasons for porn usage:
- To overcome initial hesitation or discomfort with sex
- To improve foreplay and sexual arousal
- To enhance sexual pleasure and explore one's own desires
Can Watching Porn Affect Relationships?
Dr Garg said, “In therapeutic contexts, it [watching pornography] is considered a widely accepted method for addressing sexual issues within relationships. Therefore, pornography itself is not inherently ‘bad’ or ‘good’; its influence on individuals and relationships hinges on how it is used and the partners' mutual comfort with its role in their relationship.”
He added, “When used with mutual agreement and understanding, it can help enhance the overall sexual experience for couples. However, it can also have negative effects. Excessive use or over-reliance on pornography can lead to addiction, unrealistic expectations, and a disconnect from a partner's desires. It can also lead to distress, anxiety, and decreased satisfaction in the relationship.”
In addition, a study published in the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy found that rather than porn use itself, "moral disapproval of pornography use," meaning, when people use porn but also have a high level of condemnation for it, leads to unpleasant consequences in a relationship accompanied by anxiety and depression.
Harmful Effects Of Porn Usage On Relationship
Some of the harmful effects of pornography usage in relationships include:
Unrealistic expectations: Partners may focus on the fantasy world of pornography and misunderstand each other's desires.
Addiction: Overuse of pornography can lead to addiction, causing one partner to become too focused on it.
Loss of intimacy: Focus on unrealistic postures or gadgets from pornography can hinder real intimacy.
Anxiety and distress: Unrealistic expectations can lead to anxiety and distress in the relationship.
What Couples Can Do To Manage Their Emotions
Here are a few strategies couples can follow to manage emotions about porn usage:
- Establish clear boundaries and expectations regarding pornography use early in the relationship.
- Ensure that both partners are comfortable with its use and can openly communicate about it.
- Use pornography as a private and personal choice, avoiding discussions that might diminish its appeal.
- Be cautious about the source and legality of the content to avoid illegal or unethical material.
- If one partner feels uncomfortable or encounters issues with pornography, it's important to address them openly and promptly to prevent misunderstandings and distress in the relationship.
Pornography is a controversial subject. Whether it is good or bad depends on how you use it and how much you let it affect your relationship.