Parenting is a very generic process that needs to be done precisely. Everyone has a different approach to raise their children. There is no particular approach that can be said to be totally correct or successful. Good Cop- Bad Cop parenting has been in the trend from a long while now but there has been no particular evidence that can prove it to be efficient. However many parents believe that it is a useful process in taking care of their children and maintaining balance between soft and strict behaviour. Let us discuss about pros and cons of good cop- bad cop parenting.
How Does Good Cop- Bad Cop parenting work?
In this process, one parent performs the role of good cop who is more engaging and calm with the child and the other one behaves strictly with every habit of the child. This does not particularly mean that it is natural nature of parents to behave in that way but it is to keep a balance between both terms. Bad-cop parent is responsible to make the child do homework, maintain discipline and behave properly. The other one calms things down and relaxes the child by engaging in activities, playing with them and taking care of child’s needs.
Merits of Good Cop- Bad cop parenting
There must be a reason why so many parents follow this method with their children in their upbringing. This is because of the reason that this method helps to create a balance between fun and discipline in the child. If both the parents are equally strict then it can break confidence amongst children to try something new. On the other hand, if they are too polite and soft, they might end up spoiling habits of children by bringing him whatever he wants. Good cop- bad cop means having both sides where a child is able to follow discipline along with engaging in activities that he loves to do.
Drawbacks of Good Cop- Bad Cop Parenting
Well, the major drawback of bad cop parenting is that it is not very fruitful to parents as a whole. It means that even though it creates a balance in the situation of the kids, parents might feel detached and take sides. Also another point is that the child may neglect the other parent who is being strict to him and just follow what the good cop parent tells them. This can create difference in opinions and result in parental issues.
Another drawback is that the child may become very ignorant and starts feeling that their one of their parent does not love him anymore. It can create distance between you and the child. He may also begin to fear from the other parent to tend to play the bad cop.
Separation of parents from each other and divorce can also be a drawback of this type of parenting. It is because in this type of parenting constantly playing a particular role can cause irritation when your partner opposes it all the time. It creates conflicts between parents and results to mess up situations that can later divorce as well.
How to Get out of Good cop- Bad cop situation?
If there is a particular pattern that is getting developed over time, this means it is time to end this parenting method. Good cop- bad cop is only useful or beneficial for your child until it is not affecting you as parents or the child. If you find your child getting inclined to a particular parent more often, this means there are some negative thoughts that have developed over time in the child’s mind.
For this you need to follow some easy remedies that can help you become even in eyes of your offspring. To begin with try switching roles and then applying it on your child so that the child turns up to the bad-cop again. Here are some other remedies you can apply to get rid of this cycle of good cop- bad cop parenting-
1. Switch roles to show that both of them can be soft and strict for different matters and subjects.
2. Gain trust of your child again, talk to the child more often.
3. Discuss plans with the child together and make him share his ideas about variety of subjects.
4. Establish stronger bond as a parent so that the child notices that you both are together in every decision.
5. Support opinions of each other and discuss pros and cons with the child.
6. Make a plan to go about a particular problem with the child.
7. Commit to stick with discipline and principles that you both believe is in favour of your child.
8. Do not argue in front of your child regarding any problem, make those private and keep it to yourself and it can have a mad impression on the child.
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