In 2023, things turned out to be life-changing as James Van Der Beek was diagnosed with stage 3 colorectal cancer. The actor and father of six decided to use privacy in the beginning, but later, he posted his experience to increase awareness. One of his most serious problems? To reveal to his six children, namely Olivia (14), Joshua (13), Annabel (11), Emilia (9), Gwendolyn (7), and Jeremiah (3), about the diagnosis. His approach was raw, honest, and deeply human.
James on Parenting Through Cancer: “They Know If Dad’s in Pain”
Eight months after his diagnosis, James appeared on the Today show’s third hour, explaining his family’s approach with raw clarity. His insights, drawn from lived experience, resonate deeply as he said, “I’m far from an expert, but our approach was just to be as honest as possible, as honest to the degree of their understanding. Because they know. They can sense that Dad’s having a tough day. They know if Dad’s in pain. By not telling them, I think you’re confusing them even more”.
He further shared, “Allow yourself to be surprised by their resiliency. When you tell them what you’re doing and the approach, they can see it and feel it. Your journey is their journey,” The actor added, “Don’t rob them of the opportunity to show up for you emotionally. I have kids making me tea: ‘Dad, what do you need?’ There’s been a lot of beauty that’s come out of it”
James admitted the conversation was daunting but necessary. By inviting his children into his reality, whether explaining treatments or accepting their small acts of care, he transformed fear into connection. His kids’ responses, like brewing tea or checking on his needs, became unexpected sources of strength.
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Understanding Stage 3 Cancer: What It Means![]()
Stage 3 cancer generally means the cancer has grown larger or spread to nearby tissues or lymph nodes, but hasn’t widely spread to distant parts of the body. It is serious and requires careful treatment, often including surgery, chemotherapy, or radiation.
A study published in CA: A Cancer Journal for Clinicians in 2023 discusses the outcomes and treatment strategies for stage 3 cancers. It states that in many cases, early aggressive intervention can enhance the survival time and the quality of life.
Knowing the stage will also assist the patients and their family in mentally and physically preparing themselves throughout the treatment process that awaits them.
The Importance of Communication in Tough Times![1 - 2025-07-31T113158.374]( "James Van Der Beek family")
The decision made by James Van Der Beek to tell the truth to his children indicates the importance of communication when a person is going through a health problem. Speaking your mind can help.
- Minimise fear and confusion in children
- Cement the family during trying times
- Teach children how to communicate and say what they feel, and ask questions
- Develop trust and emotional strength
Medical professionals would advise describing the situation in a way that makes sense according to the age and maturity of the child, but the message should be positive and understandable.
Supporting Families Facing Cancer
Cancer is as emotional a war as it is a physical war. Counselling, support groups or help from professionals who know how to talk to children about illness can help the families. It leads to the fact that openness can be an effective resource in the process of coping, as illustrated by the example of James.
He emphasised the importance of hope and individuality in his family. It can be helpful to exchange fears and even be optimistic to make it easier to go through the healing process.
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Final Thoughts
The fact that James Van Der Beek was so open to share that he had cancer in stage 3 and how he was so careful to tell his children about that disease is an excellent opportunity to learn. The emotional landscape of a serious illness is rough, but the truth and love can be the key to keeping the family bonded and together. His experience teaches his audience that we must all seek the proper words, tell the truth to those who need it in a painless way and confront difficulties along with one another.