Google defines gaslighting as “manipulating (someone) by psychological means into doubting their sanity”. Gaslighting is when your partner manipulates you into thinking that you are exaggerating your condition and second guess your thoughts.
How Gaslighting Works?
When your partner is gaslighting you, he tries to alter your sense of reality. He or she will make you question your thoughts, leaving you confused and wondering. If it occurs often, it can be harmful to the person receiving it. It can lead to psychological problems such as depression and anxiety. To avoid these problems from occurring, it is important to determine if your partner gaslighting you.
You’ve Started Doubting…
You try to convince yourself that you are exaggerating your situation and the situation is not so bad when it is. You second-guess reality and wonder if you accurately remember what happened.
You are afraid of speaking or expressing your emotions in the fear of feeling worse in the end. You overthink to the point where your thoughts start clouding your judgement and you become unclear about your condition and thoughts.
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You start thinking that everything you are experiencing might be wrong or stupid or inadequate. You often repeat your statements over and over until someone tells you to stop.
You start wondering who you are and why are you doing this. Self-doubt overpowers and you start assuming that people would be disappointed in you. You might start thinking you might be crazy for thinking weird things.
If your partner is gaslighting you, you might even doubt your future. You start having a sense of impending doom. You might feel on-the-edge all the time and feel something bad is going to happen anytime soon.
Some other feelings include
- Feeling apologetic all the time.
- Feeling insecure in your relationship and life.
- Not able to make your decisions.
- You feel you are not good enough for anything.
What Should You Do?
- The first step is to recognise if you are the “victim” in the relationship. If you suspect that you are being gaslighted, you need to be careful of certain things. Here what you should do –
- Gaslighters say one thing but another, they don’t stick to their words. Keep this in mind and pay attention to what your partner does.
- Do not listen to someone who makes you question yourself or doubt your decisions.
- Do not believe in what they say – they will try their best to deceive you and change your perception about everything.
If you identify these signs, you must consult a doctor and seek professional help. And the most important you should keep in your mind is that you are not to blame for the situation. The person gaslighting you is the one to blame and responsible for the situation.
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