Every marriage goes through ups and downs. At times you might feel your relationship has hit rock bottom without any visible saving grace. It is important though, to ask yourself how bad the situation really is.
Can you honestly say there is nothing left in your marriage to salvage? If you can identify all of these signs it is perhaps the time to make important decisions.
It is futile to believe that a couple’s levels of passions will stay high all through their marriage. Honeymoons may not last forever but intimacy does. And not just physical intimacy as in cuddling and holding hands. To feel the very comforting presence of your wife or husband is what it is about. If either of you find yourself loosing the need for that familiar sight every morning in bed or in the evening over tea and biscuits you are probably falling out of love.
Denial is the first step towards the destruction of any relationship. There are inevitable problems and difficult issues every married couple must go through. A refusal to deal with those and making excuses to avoid uncomfortable questions tends to rock an otherwise steady boat. Turning away will lead to more problems and living in fool’s paradise cannot convince both of you for a long time. Excuses can shield you only temporarily and frequent lying to yourself is a sign to look out for.
Conceivably, the most common sign of an unhappy marriage is mounting resentment against the partner. Some grudges remain despite of our best efforts to let those go. The idea is to not try to repress the memories of betrayal or hurt by our partner but to accept the past and try to forgive him or her. The next step is to let the wound heal in its own sweet time. If you continue to harbour bitterness and find yourself keeping track of all the pain your partner has caused you it can only lead to more damage.
Once the initial thrill of falling in love and marrying someone who is so different from you has evaporated along with the honeymoon zeal, reality sets in. Wise couples will accept that they do not like the same things and will respect each other’s lifestyle choices. A disharmonious couple will let it mar their love. Once you realise the differences between you and your partner you might feel overwhelmed and alienated.
Moreover, if only one person has to make most compromises to suit the other’s quirks it is a recipe for disaster. The marriage will start to feel like a trap for that partner.
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