Performative Culture: Psychologists Explain How Social Media Is Leaving You Tired

Have you ever felt the pressure to do something just because you have to post it on social media? Do you plan your day-to-day life, simple regular tasks, and even your surroundings based on what looks good on Instagram, craving validation from an internet audience? If so, you are not alone. In the past few years, performance culture has become an invisible pressure that is exhausting users not just physically and financially, but emotionally as well.

Performative culture basically refers to the shift of prioritising how an event will look on the internet instead of experiencing the moment fully. “Sometimes I genuinely feel like we’re living in a slightly fake reality. There are days when I realise I’m more aware of how a moment will appear on my screen than how it actually feels in my heart,” said Tripti Sharma, a Senior Account Executive at Adgcraft.

To understand better how performative culture is making many of us feel tired, lost, and inauthentic, the editorial team of OnlyMyHealth spoke to Dr Pretty Duggar Gupta, Consultant Psychiatrist at Aster Whitefield Hospital, Bengaluru and a few of the Instagram users experiencing the same pressure. Read on to discover how this trend is breaking the ceiling of your real life.

The Weight of Performance Pressure

“When one of my reels unexpectedly went viral, crossing more than 3 Lakh views with thousands of likes and comments, it felt amazing. But soon, that became a benchmark in my head. Every post after that which did not perform well left me disappointed. Now, content creation, which used to be fun, feels like a performance,” shared 24-year-old Ester Pariyar, highlighting how performative culture creeps into her daily life.

For Tripti, even small tasks like getting ready, stepping out, or clicking a picture come with a quiet pressure to look a certain way online. “What should feel real and spontaneous often ends up feeling staged,” she added.

Shruti, a Delhi-based journalist, mentioned a similar heaviness, “Whenever I go out, whether to a cafe or on a trip, I feel the need to capture 'Insta-worthy' moments. It isn't that I don't like taking pictures, but social media puts pressure on you to showcase fragments of your life aesthetically.” She underlined that while you feel validated when your photos are appreciated, you feel disheartened when they aren't, which creates a toxic loop.

Also Read: Why Are Cardiologists Warning Against Early Winter Outings?

A Source of Mental Stress

During the conversation, Dr Pretty Duggar Gupta noted, “By its very nature, a performative culture creates the feeling that you are constantly being watched, judged, and compared. People have stopped living; instead, they focus on how each moment will look on the internet.” The result is a constant pressure to appear happy, successful, productive, and aesthetically perfect.

Explaining how this leads to mental health disorders, Dr Gupta said, “Over time, the brain starts associating self-worth with public approval and engagement. Consequently, mental health issues such as chronic stress, anxiety, and emotional exhaustion follow.”

Distorting Genuine Feelings

“People may project fake positivity when they are feeling down, overstate their achievements, or hide their sorrows to maintain the facade of an ideal life,” Dr Gupta shared. This emotional distortion misleads others and the individual themselves, as they gradually lose touch with their true feelings in favour of what is socially acceptable.

Tripti Sharma also highlighted how this cycle distorts genuine emotions. “With almost everyone spending roughly two to three hours every day scrolling and posting, it’s no surprise that validation has become an emotional currency,” she mentioned.

Also Read: Are Your Travel Goals Result Of Travel Dysmorphia? This Is How Psychologist Define It

Furthermore, the act of performing robs a person of the ability to be truly present. Those preoccupied with capturing moments often fail to experience the emotional depth of those moments, which can make friends and family feel distant or undervalued.

The Gap Between Real and Reel Life

“This performative act creates a false impression that everyone around you is living a picture-perfect life. This is often far from reality because people usually keep the difficult parts of their lives to themselves. You only see the polished parts on the Gram,” Shruti stated.

Dr Gupta agreed, stating, “The more a person filters or stages their life for approval, the wider the gap becomes between the online persona and the real self. Some individuals even start making major life decisions, regarding careers, relationships, or purchases, based on how they will look online rather than what will genuinely make them happy.” She further notes that this is how identity drift happens, where performing overshadows personal values.

Anxiety Symptoms of Performative Pressure

Dr Gupta identified several anxiety and panic symptoms seen in people when they are unable to be online or fail to receive follower validation:

• Disconnected individuals may experience withdrawal-like symptoms.
• Becoming moody or excessively worried about missing posts or messages.
• Real panic symptoms such as a racing heart, chest tightness, nausea, or shaking.

This situation is similar to a behavioural addiction, where the brain craves the dopamine release triggered by notifications and becomes distressed when deprived of it.

Also Read: Anunay Sood’s Death Reason Cited to Be Fentanyl and Alcohol Toxicity by the US Officials

Identifying Performative Emotions

“One of my patients, a YouTuber and content creator, has been struggling with Generalised Anxiety Disorder (GAD). What started as a creative outlet turned into a constant pressure to appear perfect, leading to serious mental health consequences,” Dr Gupta shared. She suggested people should check if their emotions are turning into content by looking for these signs:

• Your first reaction to an emotional experience is to capture or share it rather than actually feeling it.
• You alter your emotions to fit social media standards, such as faking happiness or exaggerating sadness for engagement.
• You decide that the performative version of an emotion is more important than your internal reality.

Bottomline

The constant pressure to stay visible and relevant leads to ongoing anxiety, fatigue, and a loss of connection with the self. As Dr Gupta’s patient discovered, no longer knowing if he enjoyed his hobbies or was simply doing them for the likes, social media demands can hollow out one’s emotional health, leaving a sense of emptiness despite online success.