Love you virtually

By  , Midday
Nov 30, 2011

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For any marriage to be termed as 'successful', the buzz words are never ending trust, commitment and transparency. But is it so easy to maintain the marital bliss as it sound especially considering the hectic schedules and the quest to survive, we indulge in regularly. Even if one survives professionaly, to sustain a marriage doesn't is easy. Marital life is especially sensitive for the couples where physical proximity is absent or negligible.


Time please


Now a days its common for couples to have different shift timings. At times the shift are such that when husband returns home from office, his wife's office cab is waiting downstairs to ferry her to the office. So the question is, where is the time to be with each other. " I don't know when was the last time me and my husband spent a day together. He is working with a call center and me with a bank. When I move in he walks out. Even our weekly offs fall on different days. We meet every day for just few minutes," says Bhavika Menon who is planning to quit her job to save her marriage. What Bhavika is facing could lead to the failure of marital formula and a lot of emotional discomfort. Couples who are strong may survive in the toughest time, but weak links in a relationship can lead to loss of love and subsequent divorce.


Tech mantra


What could be a great relief is that the youngsters now realise that it's important to be together either mentally if not physically and technology has come handy in their endeavour to maintain the warmth of their relationship. Frequently exchange of text messages, e-mails and virtual connectivity through yahoo or Gtalk are few of the ways to be together for the married couples.


"It has worked for me. Even if I send one sms a day saying that I miss you or I love you it makes a lot of difference. What I am doing is that I am using technology in my favour," says Shikhant Gupta who is working with an event management company and often travels abroad for events.


According to psychologist Samir Parikh, consultant psychiatrist with Max Healthcare, "Lifestyles have changed and you need to nurture the relationship very carefully. You need to adopt newer ways of being connected but don't make it a habit of just being connected through text messages or chat. Meet up whenever possible. "


To this Dr Arti Anand, psychologist, Sir Ganga Ram Hospital says, "These technological mediums are much more viable in initial stages of a relationship where you are trying to build up a rapo with your partner."


No alternative


One thing is clear that there is no alternative to physical connect. Being connected through text messages may be alternatives that in no way can provide the real pleasure. Commenting on this, Arti warns," Being connected through these mediums should not become a habit. One needs to be physically together when needed."


The partners need to make an effort to spend quality time with each other because no sms, email or instant message can replace physical togetherness.



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