Did you know your brain cannot differentiate between reality and imagination? Don’t believe me? Think of a pink elephant with a white ribbon on its head in the corner of the room. You saw the ribbon exactly where it was supposed to be and a pink elephant too, but you just imagined it. The voice you hear while reading my words, responding in your mind, is your self-talk. It governs your entire life by influencing your mood and emotions. We spoke to Esha Bhardwaj, Life and Emotional Wellness Coach and Therapist, Meerut, who explained how to transform negative self-talk into positive thinking.
Self-talk refers to communicating with oneself, either silently or out loud, using specific words or phrases. Positive self-talk can help us cultivate a positive mindset, manage our thoughts, and promote emotional well-being. On the other hand, negative self-talk can have the opposite effect, leading to emotional distress and poor mental health, according to a 2021 study.
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What Is Negative Self-Talk?
"Negative self-talk includes statements like ‘I am not good enough,’ ‘It was all my fault,’ or ‘What might they be thinking of me?’ It focuses primarily on the negatives while ignoring or downplaying the positives. Negative self-talk can silently but powerfully shape how we see ourselves. Thus, making our mind believe this is who we are, "explained Bhardwaj.
When negative thoughts take hold, they can hold you back from pursuing your goals and aspirations. They can prevent you from taking risks, forming meaningful connections, and seizing new opportunities. If left unchecked, negative thoughts can hinder your personal growth, lead to poor decision-making, and ultimately, keep you from reaching your full potential.
According to the College of Cognitive Behavioural Therapies (CCBT), negative self-talk can create a self-perpetuating cycle, where our critical inner voice brings about the outcomes we fear, essentially becoming a prophecy that fulfils itself.
This behavioural pattern often stems from childhood experiences, social conditioning, and deeply ingrained limiting beliefs, which may be unresourceful for us today. The good news is that humans are blessed with adaptability. They can transform this inner dialogue into power-fueling, optimistic, supportive, and empowering, said Bhardwaj.
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How To Shift From Self-Criticism To Self-Compassion?
"Practising positive thinking does not mean ignoring life's challenges. Instead, it's about facing difficulties with a hopeful mindset. You focus on expecting good outcomes rather than dwelling on the possibility of bad ones," added Bhardwaj.
According to a 2019 study, students who repeated a positive affirmation to themselves before giving a speech or presentation felt significantly less nervous and anxious than those who did not use this technique.
- The first step is awareness. Every time you sound judgy, catastrophising, or personalising, pause and ask yourself: How does this make me feel? Is it a fact? How can I say it kindly?
- Next, challenge and reframe your thoughts. Instead of saying, 'I am a failure,' say, 'I am learning and improving daily.'
- You should also practice self-compassion by understanding that you are human and it is okay not to know everything.
- Also, stay away from negative and discouraging people and surround yourself with those who uplift you.
- Be accountable for your actions because they will result in your transformation.
- Practice gratitude and use affirmations like 'I deserve kindness.'
Bottomline
Bhardwaj concluded, "It is crucial to understand that transformation is a journey not an instant magic. Hence, you can cultivate resilience, mental grit, and self-confidence with consistent effort. Don't forget that the way you speak to yourself matters. Therefore, make it count."
[Disclaimer: This article contains information provided by an expert and is for informational purposes only. Hence, we advise you to consult your professional if you are dealing with any health issue to avoid complications.]