In a recent interview with Shenaz Treasury, actor Kalki Koechlin opens up about the lesser-discussed challenges women face post-childbirth, especially when it comes to rekindling intimacy.
Reflecting back on her personal journey after giving birth to her daughter, Kalki recounted, “I am thinking back to the time after I had Sappho... My vagina was destroyed and raw. I couldn’t even look at my vagina because it was hard. Slowly getting back to sex was painful, and so I remember talking about it because it’s very difficult for me to say no.”
The Dev.D actor emphasised the value of open communication during this delicate phase, expressing gratitude for her partner’s support. “He was very understanding... He was patient because I had gone through a lot; I was torn and had stitches, and nobody talks about these things,” she said. “This is the sh*t we should be talking about. Even after giving birth, I had some problems and had to go back to the gynaecologist and have surgery.”
Keeping in view that many women go through the same experiences, OnlyMyHealth interacted with Dr Archana Dhawan Bajaj, Gynaecologist, Obstetrician and IVF Expert, Nurture IVF Clinic, New Delhi, to understand common physical and emotional issues women have after giving birth and how postpartum women can rediscover and transition back to intimacy.
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Post-Childbirth Intimacy Challenges
According to Dr Bajaj, childbirth causes a variety of physical changes in the body. This includes recovery time, hormone imbalances, and physical discomfort, which can all have an impact on sexual readiness.
While Mayo Clinic suggests that there isn't a mandatory waiting period for resuming sexual activity after childbirth, many healthcare providers recommend waiting until after a postpartum checkup to ensure healing is on track.
Moreover, being emotionally and mentally ready for intimacy after childbirth is also crucial.
Dr Bajaj encourages patience and open communication during this period, as both parties (couples) must understand and respect each other's needs.
How Vaginal Health Changes After Childbirth
After giving birth to a child, a woman's vagina can undergo various changes.
Vaginal laxity is a typical issue following childbirth, says Dr Bajaj, adding that postpartum vaginal dryness is typical and natural, especially for those who are breastfeeding. In fact, a 2018 study published in the journal BMC Pregnancy and Childbirth found that 43% of postpartum women experienced vaginal dryness six months after giving birth. This can particularly make sex uncomfortable or painful.
Additionally, after childbirth, women may have cramping or pain in the perineum, adds Dr Bajaj, sharing that some may even experience postpartum vaginal discharge that lasts for a few weeks.
It is also important to note that postpartum women may suffer discomfort or burning when peeing in the days following childbirth. Urinary incontinence is also frequent during pregnancy and postpartum.
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Tips For Postpartum Women To Transition Back To Sex
Take it slowly, advises Dr Bajaj. Giving your body time to heal is extremely crucial, not just for physical comfort but also for emotional and mental readiness. Certain strategies that can help you transition back to sex include:
- Massage, which might help you get back into sex.
- Increase foreplay through mutual masturbation or other activities before penetrative intercourse.
- Lubrication
- Kegel exercises to help restore pelvic floor muscles.
- Open communication with your spouse might help you enjoy sex again and avoid unneeded discomfort.
Words Of Wisdom For Couples
Dr Bajaj says, “Make time for each other, even if it means going for short walks. Remember, every effort counts. In addition, continue to embrace, kiss, have joint showers, allow for foot and/or full body massages, and snuggle/spoon. Even if arousal arises, the less desired person can lean into the connection without fear of being coerced.”