Sutapa Sikdar, the wife of late actor Irrfan Khan, recently made a shocking revelation. She shared that her son, Babil Khan, who has been pursuing his career, treading the Bollywood path after his ever-talented father, is battling the mental strain of constant comparisons and is on the brink of depression.
In a recent conversation with a media outlet, Sutapa shared, “Babil pe bahut zyada pressure hai aur mujhe yeh thik nahin lagta” (Babil has a lot of pressure, and I don’t think it’s right). She stated, "It’s not only about work but also about losing the father figure, almost depression mein hai (he is almost in depression)! Usmein yeh stress and compression all the time. As a mother, I feel, ‘Please mere bachche ko chor do (Please, spare my child) '. Also, he is very vulnerable and does not have a fighter's spirit!"
This heartfelt revelation opens up a larger conversation about how societal pressure, unrealistic expectations, and the need to constantly measure up can deeply affect mental health. Social media platforms and the prevalent bully culture in the name of memes have created a breeding ground for depression. The former linked with the loss of a father figure and constant comparisons have now led another promising actor to the brink of depression.
Related: Actor Babil Khan Opens Up About His Abandonment Issues; Here’s How To Identify And Manage Them
Why Babil’s Plight Resonates With Most Of Us?
From a young age, many individuals face overwhelming expectations from society, parents, and peers. The Qala actor’s experience is not unique; countless individuals, especially those in the public eye or from families that have built legacies, are often subjected to constant comparisons.
Upon starting anew on the path that his father walked on, Babil Khan had once admitted, “I used to fear his greatness. As a 16-year-old, when you start realizing you want to do something with your life and your father is already a larger-than-life figure. That’s why it took me so long to confront my own passion, my own desire."
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How Unrealistic Societal Expectations Can Fuel Depression?
The link between negative social expectations and depression is significant, as they contribute to an increase in depressive symptoms. According to a study, when individuals are faced with exceedingly high standards, they often struggle with dissatisfaction because perfection is unattainable. This leads to a fear of failure, crippling anxiety, and eventually, depression.
Another significant contributor to depression linked to societal expectations is the prevalence of comparison culture, especially on social media. Platforms that offer a constant stream of others’ accomplishments can create a skewed perception of what is normal or achievable, leading to feelings of inadequacy.
The study suggests that when individuals compare themselves to others, especially on social media, it can trigger feelings of envy, low self-esteem, and deep dissatisfaction with one’s own life.
How to Reassess These Thoughts And Deal With Unrealistic Expectations?
Set Realistic Goals
Setting attainable and realistic goals is an important first step in reducing pressure. Instead of aiming for perfection, individuals can focus on setting smaller, more achievable milestones. This is key in avoiding burnout and discouragement, especially for young people.
Practice Self-Compassion
In the face of failure or unmet expectations, it’s essential to practice self-compassion. Being kind to oneself during difficult times can reduce the negative impact of societal pressure. This can involve treating yourself with the same understanding and care you would extend to a close friend going through similar struggles.
Limit Social Media Exposure
Social media platforms often exacerbate feelings of comparison and inadequacy. Reducing time spent on platforms that fuel these pressures can help individuals refocus on their personal journey, independent of external validation. Curating a social media feed that highlights positive, realistic portrayals of life can be empowering.
Seek Therapeutic Support
Therapy can be an effective way to address unrealistic expectations and the depressive thoughts they often trigger. Therapy helps individuals recognize negative thought patterns and replace them with healthier coping strategies. This is especially important when the pressure from societal expectations becomes overwhelming.
Acknowledge Imperfection
As Sutapa Sikdar noted, “When one doesn’t pressure them, their individuality comes out.” Allowing individuals, especially the younger generation, the freedom to discover their own identity, passions, and strengths is critical to fostering mental health and resilience in today’s challenging world.
Takeaway
Babil Khan’s ongoing battle with the emotional pressures of comparison and expectation sheds light on the broader issue of how societal and familial pressures can significantly affect mental health. As we reflect on Sutapa’s poignant words, it is important to understand that unrealistic expectations, whether from society, family, or even oneself, have a direct and profound impact on mental well-being.
Through realistic goal-setting, self-compassion, therapy, and reducing social media influences, we can begin to mitigate the negative effects of these expectations, allowing individuals to lead healthier, more fulfilled lives free from the constraints of perfection.