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We all know someone who can’t say “no”, the one always going out of their way to make others happy, even at their own expense. Oftentimes we are that person. They find themselves in a constant struggle to keep everyone around them happy, while their own needs get pushed aside.
As unhealthy as it gets, being too nice can cause health issues. Baffled? Read on to know what glues the link.
Also Read: Being Stressed Isn't Always Bad: Know All About 'Good Stress' And How Its Different From Bad Stress
The Dark Side of Niceness
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Being kind and helpful is great, until it starts taking a toll on your mental and physical health. Dr. Gabor Maté, a renowned Canadian physician who reiterated the link in a recent podcast with Mel Gibbons, has made an eye-opening observation about this behaviour.
After working with terminally ill patients for many years, he noticed a troubling trend; many of his patients were incredibly “nice people.” They selflessly sacrificed their time and health for others, always putting others first.
While they were loved by those around them and had glowing eulogies, Maté suggests that this pattern of “niceness” may actually contribute to illness. The constant need to please and avoid conflict can cause emotional suppression, stress, and a lack of authenticity, all of which can undermine one’s health.
Stress, The Silent Culprit Behind People-Pleasing
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The connection between people-pleasing and stress is undeniable. When you constantly put others’ needs ahead of your own, stress can pile up. While short bursts of stress are normal, chronic stress takes a heavy toll on your body. According to the American Psychological Association (APA), our body’s natural stress response, when activated too often, can increase the levels of cortisol, the stress hormone, in your system. Over time, this can lead to serious health issues like:
- Anxiety
- Depression
- Digestive problems
- Headaches
- Muscle tension and pain
- Heart disease
- Sleep disturbances
- Weight gain
In addition, the long-term stress caused by trying to please everyone can also trigger unhealthy habits, such as overeating, smoking, and drinking, as a way to cope.
How Stress Impacts Your Body and Mind?
When stress becomes chronic, it can significantly affect both your body and mind. Research shows that stress doesn’t just feel bad, it actually changes the way your body works, leading to a variety of health problems. For example, people in high-stress environments are more likely to experience heart disease and lung problems. Studies also show that stress can make you more vulnerable to physical illnesses by weakening your immune system, making it harder for your body to fight off infections.
Managing Stress: Practical Tips for People-Pleasers
If you find yourself caught in the cycle of people-pleasing and constant stress, it’s important to learn how to manage it before it harms your health. Here are some simple yet effective strategies proposed by the American Psychological Association (APA):
Identify the Source of Stress
Start by figuring out what’s causing your stress. Monitor your mood and track when you feel overwhelmed. Write down your thoughts and emotions, this can help you identify patterns and take action to address the stressors in your life. Prioritise tasks, let go of unnecessary responsibilities, and don’t be afraid to say no!
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Cultivate Supportive Relationships
Negative relationships can escalate stress, but positive, supportive relationships can act as stress buffers. Lean on family and friends when you’re feeling overwhelmed, for once, pay attention to your needs too. Sometimes, just having someone to talk to can provide a fresh perspective and offer practical solutions.
Take a Step Back
When emotions run high, it’s easy to react impulsively. Before you respond to stressors, take a moment to breathe. Count to 10, walk away, or do something physical like taking a walk. Physical activity releases endorphins, your body’s natural mood boosters, which can help reduce stress levels.
Rest and Recharge
A good night’s sleep is essential for managing stress. Try to get 7-8 hours of sleep by creating a calming bedtime routine by cutting out caffeine, avoiding screens, and making your bedroom a peaceful space. Practices like yoga and deep breathing exercises can also reduce stress and improve your overall health.
Seek Professional Help
If stress continues to feel overwhelming, don’t hesitate to seek help from a psychologist or mental health professional. They can help you explore the root causes of your stress and provide practical tools to manage it effectively. Therapy can also teach you how to set boundaries, stop people-pleasing, and prioritise your own needs without guilt.
Being Nice Isn’t Worth Your Health!
People-pleasing might seem harmless, but when taken to extremes, it can have serious consequences for your physical and mental health. The key is finding a balance: be kind to others, but not at the expense of your well-being. By learning to manage stress and prioritise your own needs, you can lead a healthier, happier life.