It may start with a few frequent insistence and tantrums or influence of others, anger gets instilled and aggravates quickly in any child. It may be a normal human emotion, but we need to know and check its abnormal levels. As a parent, one needs to look out and be ready on how to handle an angry child. A lot of parents themselves learn and handle their own while they are teaching their kids. Then, it becomes easy for the parents to influence their kid as they are his first idol. Isn’t it?
Now, managing an emotion in others is quite a task as it requires a lot of your patience. Moreover, it also requires one’s will to absorb many emotions of the other person; in this case, the kid’s. Hence, a lot of homework is for parents here!
WHAT IS ANGER MANAGEMENT FOR CHILDREN?
For a child, dealing with newer situations is different and uninformed.
As parents, we are our children’s first confidant, friend, as well as a teacher. And this is a responsibility we need to take from the first day itself. Knowing them, their likes, based on everything they get exposed to and what we let them get exposed to, and in fact, how we react in front of them makes their personality. Hence, the anger will be initiated by them when we they see it happening around them. It is impossible to control the surroundings and people’s reaction but what we really need to check is how we react to the situation, which will affect their reactions and then explaining the wrong in other’s reaction.
WHAT CAN YOU DO TO MANAGE ANGER IN CHILDREN?
1# Early Identification and intervention- As soon as you realize your kid throwing tantrum more than twice, you both need to talk. Starting with a calming tone works well in the early stages; a slight physical contact to pacify also helps such as an arm or back rub.
2# Accept the anger silently- Anger indeed a human emotion is all right, which he/ she will understand as they grow up. So, it is okay too to understand the anger, but silently. You need to show them the bigger picture; which will quickly resolve the issue. This will also inculcate the habit of looking at things a bit more constructively or positively.
3# Let them acknowledge their feelings- Ask them what is upsetting them; sometimes, saying it makes them realize the situation and feeling clearly. It also turns them towards analysing the situation rather than crying or wailing about the problem. Moreover, you have a chance of becoming a better confidant of them for sharing the problem.
4# Encourage them to come to you for help- Telling them that you are there to help will encourage them to be able to have someone by their side, who will listen. With their growing age, ego or a certain confidence level comes into picture, which may stop them from showing a lot of their feelings. But by you being at their back, they can come to you for help
5# Stopping the tantrum subtly- A clear “no” can be used but not every time, in fact, it should be used only when there is an extreme situation. Using “let’see”, when you can’t accept or agree to the request. And how about positively denying the request? You may also try to divert the attention of the kid, if the situation demands.
6# Indulging a habit of understanding firmness- Firmness should be indicated in your behaviour clearly and supported by much explained logic, so that it does not appear as a refusal. Anger is still acceptable, but physically expressing the feelings is not good. Hence, do not be an encourager of throwing things, hitting or even screaming. The kid will respond properly if your no is rational.
Anger management in kids is one of the biggest challenges of parenting as anger is an absolutely different emotion for everyone, with its extent varying for everyone. As much as it tests the patience of the parent, it will all be worth it when you would be proud of your upbringing later in life. It in fact, helps in your development too as a person as well as a parent. Happy Parenting!
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