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If you happen to have siblings, you’ve probably found yourself wondering how they turned out so different from you despite having the same parents. We often hear clichés about middle children being attention seekers, the youngest being the most expressive, and the oldest being the mature and responsible one. Apart from these generalisations, though, the question of whether birth order affects your personality has been an intriguing subject for researchers. So, what do the research and the experts say? Is there a connection between when you were born and your personality?
The Birth Order Theory
Alfred Adler, an Austrian psychotherapist, developed the Birth Order Theory in the early 1900s. He argued that the position at which a child is born significantly affects their personality. He went on to suggest that it is not just the order in which you were born that dictates your personality but the context of that order factors in too. Say, you were born as the second child, but the older sibling is disabled and cannot function as the natural ‘first born’. In this scenario, the second child automatically assumes the trait of the eldest one because the context demands it. A review from 2015 concluded that firstborn children tend to score higher on measures of intellect compared to their later-born siblings. However, the researchers observed no notable differences in broader personality traits—like extraversion, emotional stability, or imagination—based on birth order.
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“We Don’t Realise Parents Grow Too”
Juveriya Syed, an independent Counselling Psychologist & Psychotherapist from Mumbai, believes that birth order, as proven by research, has a significant effect on your psyche and personality traits. “We do have blanket traits for the order in which someone is born. However, it is not important that it must be true for everyone; that is not how psychology works,” Juveriya adds. According to the expert, there are too many variables to say for certain which child would turn out what way; there is the environment, the society, the community, all of them together influence a personality. “But to answer your question in one sentence, yes, the order in which you were born can have a significant impact on your personality.” Juveriya goes on to explain that it is not the order that influences your personality, the difference, in essence, lies in the stage of life your parents are in. “We don’t realise the parents are living for the first time and they are evolving with time too. People usually have the first kid when they are young and have no prior experience with parenting and might be harder on the first kid, and by the time the second child comes around, the parents have grown and see parenting differently than they saw when they were younger,” Juveriya adds.
Firstborn Personality Traits
- Reliable
- Conscientious
- Structured
- Cautious
- Controlling
- Achievers
Middle Child Personality Traits
- People-pleasers
- Somewhat rebellious
- Thrives on friendships
- Has a large social circle
- Peacemaker
Youngest Child Personality Traits
- Fun-loving
- Uncomplicated
- Manipulative
- Outgoing
- Attention-seeking
- Self-centred
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Conclusion
Although you are likely to acquire the above traits based on the order of your birth, experts and research suggest it is not something cast in stone. Children who were born the youngest might end up being the most responsible and the eldest might be the least mature, there is no set pattern as the human psyche is complex. As for the parents, awareness of how birth order tends to influence personality can help you become a better parent. So, if you notice your oldest being too hard on themselves or your middle is feeling neglected, offer up some encouragement and extra attention.