Coping with Infidelity
Accept your variety of emotions of rage, hurt and uncertainty. Continue with your normal routine of meals, outings and sleeping patterns.
Think long and decide
Take out some quality time for yourself and try to put your emotions aside to make a decision which you will stand by. If you are married, you need to think hard whether you want to save your marriage for the sake of your children or for your own personal needs. The relationship may not be the same again even if the cheating partner vows to never cheat again.
Do not blame yourself
You are not to be the one who is to be blamed if your spouse cheats on you. It is the cheating partner who needs to be answerable for straying.
Do not isolate yourself from friends and family
Do not wallow in self-pity and isolate yourself from friends and family. There is nothing to be humiliated or embarrassed if your spouse cheats on you after all it is not your fault so why punish yourself. Friends and family are support systems and can help you cope better and can give you sensible and unbiased advice. One must also not doubt the intention of people who come along to help.
Do not punish yourself
Do not punish yourself by ignoring to take care of your health and feeling responsible for your spouse’s straying. Accept your variety of emotions of rage, hurt and uncertainty. Continue with your normal routine of meals, outings and sleeping patterns. Call a friend over or go over to your folks place.
Talk it out
Talk to your spouse with your emotions in control to know what went wrong in the marriage. If he/she blames you, do not react as mostly cheaters play the blame game but try to ponder over the problems and decipher whether they are genuine or not.
If you have children, be honest with them as you will be unable to hide your emotions and children are sensitive and intelligent to know when something is wrong. Do not divulge details, neither influence them nor promise them anything which you can’t keep.
Seek professional counseling
Seek therapy or professional counseling for dealing with the situation better and to get an unbiased viewpoint. Post-traumatic stress can also be dealt with professional help.
Stick to your decision of ending the relationship
If you have decided to end the relationship, stick to your decision. Be optimistic and practical about your future. Start taking care of your individual needs such as finances, housing and maybe kids. Forgive and move on as it may only do you good.
Source: Onlymyhealth editorial team Jun 29, 2011
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