Bridging the Generation Gap between you and your Child in Teens
The teenage years or adolescence is the period when parents see the greatest change in their child’s behavior. They are trying to become an individual in his or her own right, are seeking to move out of your protective wings, and consider peer opinion more valuable.
They want freedom and you want to control them and prevent them from doing anything wrong. As a parent you have to learn to tackle them right. Most of us try to dictate terms to control them. But this does not help usually, as they are sure to rebel and you will end up with a battleground in your own home. When you start hearing the word 'Generation Gap' frequently in your home, agree to some of their wishes and fancies but know where to draw the line. What can you do to make your teenager feel you are a friend, a companion and not an enemy?
Set limits: Do not make your child feel you are an enemy by making an issue of every transgression. Develop a relation so that they feel you are on his side and you listen to him when he is right. Do not give an impression that you expect him or her to listen to every thing you say. Let them discover their own way in the world, but be there to guide as children tend to run wild without any supervision.
Give them space: You may feel that your son or daughter is ashamed of you as friends start becoming more important. But don't despair as this is usually a temporary phase. Be amiable and warm to your children's friends, but give them space and maintain a distance.
Have discipline: Set and make your rules clear from the beginning. This helps them to develop self-control. Encourage your children to take their decisions, teach them to think for themselves, but guide them. Children do not admit but they expect supervision and guidance. Remember that spanking a not a good way to discipline. This directly controls their behavior, but you need to teach children self-control.
Teach self-control: Spanking and scolding makes your child fear you but hardly any self-control. Make your child feel you respect them, allow some control, as this will encourage him to respect you and listen to you. Teach self control by example as they do what you do. They do not like to following instructions. Even when they break rules, be calm when you talk about it, as this will make your child think about right and wrong.
Teach Your Child To Be Polite: Children follow what you do. So you have to be polite. When needed use a firm but a kind tone. Children are impatient, so have to teach them patience and politeness by showing them the right way.
Be supportive: Most children are extremely pressurized by their own goals and peer pressure. Spend time regularly with your child as this makes him feel you are there for him. Support your children in their goals and ambitions. Encourage your child to try, do not compare, do not be critical and do not judge. Develop a relationship that makes them feel you are always there.
Source: Onlymyhealth editorial team Feb 05, 2013
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