Have you ever felt like your voice gets lost in the shuffle when decisions are made? Or noticed a subtle tension when one person’s needs seem to take precedence over the other’s? Relationships are built on trust, respect, and a sense of security, but maintaining these elements requires a delicate balance—one that often goes unnoticed until cracks begin to show.
This balance, often referred to as the “balance of power,” is the cornerstone of healthy, fulfilling partnerships. It’s about ensuring both individuals feel valued, heard, and equally invested in the relationship. But how do you achieve this equilibrium? Relationship expert shares her insights on fostering equal partnerships and shared decision-making, offering a roadmap to stronger, more harmonious connections.
What Is Power Dynamics In a Relationship?
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Vaasanthika, Therapist, Founder - Heartsease Counseling Services, Chennai, explains imbalances in power occur unintentionally in several situations. “All relationships strive for respect and security, and the most important part of that is having a good power balance,” she said. But what happens when that balance is disrupted?
“One person keeps calling all the shots, and the other feels like their opinions are not considered, and starts being quiet,” she says. This dynamic often leads to one partner dominating decisions, while the other withdraws, feeling unheard or undervalued.
Financial control is another common issue. “All the money is controlled by one person, and the other is completely financially dependent, making it really hard for them to leave if they want to exit the relationship,” Vaasanthika notes. This creates an “invisible cage,” where one partner feels trapped, even if they’re unhappy.
Why Do Power Imbalances Happen?
Interestingly, power imbalances often start with good intentions. “In the start, the powerful person would have felt really good because it made them feel confident and useful,” Vaasanthika explains. Taking charge might have felt like a way to show love or care.
On the other hand, the less dominant partner may have willingly given up their power. “Giving your power away would have been comfortable for you because power comes with responsibility, and you are confused not having to take responsibility as special treatment,” she says. Over time, however, this dynamic becomes unsustainable.
The Consequences of Imbalance
When power imbalances persist, they take a toll on both partners. “Over time, one gets more angry and overwhelmed, and the other starts to shrink themselves so much, collecting fear, low self-esteem, and dependency,” Vaasanthika explains. The dominant partner may feel burdened by the weight of constant decision-making, while the other feels increasingly powerless.
A study published in the Journal of Marriage and Family documented how power imbalance struggles among couples resulted in declined relationship satisfaction for 60% of couples surveyed. The relationship partner who receives less influence generally witnesses a lowering of their self-esteem alongside the dominant partner facing unnecessary escalating expectations.
How to Restore Balance In a Relationship?
The good news? Power imbalances can be addressed. Vaasanthika advises, “If you feel the imbalance, renegotiate things with your partner, so both have a fair influence in the relationship.” Here’s how to start:
- Investigate areas of unbalance concerning control of emotions or financial aspects alongside decision-making power. This way, both partners can work on these issues as a team.
- Reframe your mutual objectives to establish fair contributions from both partners toward the relationship.
- Equate duty assignments by coordinating emotional and practical responsibilities such as cleaning and organizing dates to prevent either partner from carrying the full weight.
- Both partners can help one another achieve personal goals and develop separate hobbies which helps them grow independently.
- Constant assessment of your relationship dynamics will help you maintain equilibrium between the partners.
- If your relationship contains extensive power dynamics problems seek guidance from a therapist to achieve balance.
Conclusion
Balance isn’t about control, it’s about collaboration. When both partners feel valued and heard, the relationship becomes a source of strength, not stress. By addressing power imbalances proactively, couples can build a foundation of mutual respect and equality. After all, a healthy relationship isn’t about one person holding all the power, it's about sharing it, so both partners can grow together.