What no one told you not to do in bed

By  , Midday
Mar 24, 2010

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Steer clear of these blasphemies in bed if you want to please with ease


Bravehearts would confess how their irritated partners have suddenly made them run through catalogues of bedroom errors. Yes, you can afford to not match up to  expectations occasionally, but to do it often and shamelessly is a sure spoiler as far as your sex life is concerned. Read through our inventory of mistakes that you can't afford to make when at it. Yeah, no one must've told you about many of them, so here goes.


Squeeze easy


Her nipples are no radio knobs. So stop tuning them ruthlessly. Her hurt will turn the session into hell. Try to focus on the whole hill, not just the peak if you're to peak at you know what.


Explore the rest


Men mostly believe in the breasts and genitals as focal points. Women simply hate that. There're parts left untouched for weeks, if not ages. Try exploring those, and she'll love you for that.


Dirty business


Just after ejaculation, men either retire to bed, or go to the washroom for cleaning and stuff. Since you're not going to use the same condom again, and you wore it, why can't you dispose it yourself? Same goes for women who use tissues.


Preliminary round


If you know swimming, you would know that you first stand on the mark and then dive, not jump directly like a first timer. The same goes when you're in bed. Stop making a sudden spree for the erogenous zones, make sure you both are well warmed up, first. Use some foreplay, do the peacock dance, leave her pining for you.


Be speedy, not rash


There's a difference between being hard and being tough. You don't want to end up leaving each other with bruises, do you? Keep the pressure consistent. Don't overdo it.


No breakers, please


For men, it's easy to get into the mood again after a few minutes of rest, but women are back to square one once they lose the pick up. So keep going at all costs, don't give her a chance to relax.


Undress circle


Whosoever is in charge must keep in mind that the partner doesn't want to look bad while being brought to nothing. So remove the clothes slowly, interspersed with kisses and caresses. Make sure he/she feels good about the bod, and please keep the lights low. And the full length mirrors away, unless that's a fetish.


Sex ain't bookish


So, you've read a lot of love and sex stuff. unfortunately, practicals are a different game altogether. The more spontaneous, the better. Be original rather than preachy. That works each time.


Don't force anything


Don't impose your desires of oral sex or certain positions too much on your partner. It can be an instant turn-off. Not everyone likes it the way you do. And the sooner you realise that, the better.


Be thankless


You can still be 'giving', but if you're thanking him or her for the time spent, you're probably making her feel like a charitable trust. Stop it.


Raise the alarm


When your jack is parked in her harbour, it's better to warn her before ejaculation, because releasing semen on her means more laundry bill and irritation, perhaps. Unless he or she is a porn star.


Mistake myths

  • Your husband might not be as desperate as you think he is. The belief that men think about sex every seven seconds doesn't hold strong ground. According to the Kinsey Report of sexual behaviour in males, 54 percent of men think about sex every day or several times a day, 43 percent a few times a week or a few times a month, and 4 percent less than once a month.  
  • All the stories about a sex deprived man and an dissatisfied woman may not be true, because studies have proved that the moment a woman enters a steady relationship, her sex drive starts falling. A 4-year study in Germany proved that less than half of their women wanted regular sex.
  • Contrary to women, men are able to secure their libido, come what may. In the same German study, 90 per cent of women yearned for care, but only 25 per cent men who've been committed for more than 10 years felt the same.


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