“This is *&^$ing ridiculous!”
Recognise this line? All of us say it often in those moments when we can’t control our instincts to voice negative statements and can’t modify how we express our emotional point of view in favour of our long-term goals. There are some moments when we simply blurt out things we regret immediately or some time later. Image Courtesy: Getty
Blurting
A spontaneous speech that has negative repercussions is called blurting. According to research from Hample, et al. (2013), blurting most often refers to unedited angry remarks. Inappropriate humour is also characterised as blurting. So, next time you hear someone being hit by a salt truck, just keep your dialogue “I guess she was asSALTED!” to yourself. If you don’t, you sure will regret saying it. Image Courtesy: Getty
Reason for Blurting
Specifically, the research found that people who tend to blurt are more likely to see arguments as a forum to assert self-oriented goals; more likely to see arguments as a forum to show dominance; more likely to see arguments as a forum for “play"; more likely to see arguments as a forum to show one’s identity; less likely to see arguments as cooperative and civil. Image Courtesy: Getty
Environmental Factors for Blurting
Environment also plays a role in causing people to blurt. People often blurt when they are in a position to make nasty remarks in a given situation. They won’t blurt where they don’t see personal benefits. Also, gender has nothing to do with blurting. Image Courtesy: Getty
Changing the Argument Form
To stop blurting, change your argument frame from uncooperative and adversarial to the one that views arguments as an opportunity to discuss differing ideas and develop solutions that benefit everyone. Image Courtesy: Getty
Positive Argument Frame
Arguments can be cooperative, positive and productive. Being heard and taken seriously is important, but listening and considering others' points of view is important too. Image Courtesy: Getty
Long-term Goals
Your long-term goal should always be to maintain a strong working relationship, which can be hampered by blurting because while you are at it, we can’t shape our messages properly. Considering your long-term goals will help to stimulate the conversation away from blurting. Image Courtesy: Getty
The Bigger Truth
The deeper truth doesn’t lie in blurting out the first thing that comes to your mind; it lies in your planned responses. So, think about what you hope to create for yourself and others and speak mindfully. Image Courtesy: Getty
