Funny Excuses for Saying No to Sex

By  ,  Onlymyhealth editorial team
Sep 29, 2012

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Funny Excuses for Saying No to Sex

Sometimes, surprisingly sex stands as the last thing on your mind. You don’t know why, but for some reason you are not up to it today as much as you were the day before. Your lover is trying to set the mood, touching you and talking like a real love struck kid. You know it’s time but somehow, no not today!


There are many good reasons for someone to restrain from sex.  These can range from not wanting to have sex with a certain person because you are not interested, to others like fatigue after a day’s work. But you can’t just go say a no, right away. You will have to come up with an excuse and it will work the best for you if these are hilarious!


[Read: Types of Men, Women find Undesirable]


The Celibacy Vow

Yes, you tend to think that your partner is from a different planet and doesn’t know much about humans. Unless you are practicing to be a nun or a priest you will never take a vow of celibacy. Sex, is basic human instinct and to sideline this instinct is pure fad. It cannot be true and can you even imagine how funny this excuse is?


The Crimson Tide –

Women make their biological complications an issue. Riding on the crimson tide can be a very weird idea for men too and most often they do not like it. So it works! But hey, can you not talk about your periods and make that an excuse for not having sex? Men are after only human and not blood starving romantics from vampire films. [Read: Sex during Menstruation can be Fun]


Mom said No!

We think that this one takes the cake. Yes, we had a talk and the roar of laughter resounded through the building corridors when this was mentioned. Mom said no? That is actually sick! First of all, why would a man or a woman notify mother about sexcapades?  This will be a turn off for your partner and of course will be more than willing to not indulge you.


Playing Dumb

There are so many people who have innumerable dumb excuses, so much so that there can be an award for the dumbest excuse of the year. You can think of a thousand and one excuses, like these. Take a look:


  • The cat just crossed the road I think.
  • I feel fat, you won’t like me/you look fat.
  • My dog needs to go for a walk.
  • People in Somalia are hungry, I feel sad.
  • I am going for Mumbai Marathon, so I need energy.
  • My friend’s uncle is sick.
  • I am scared.
  • My Facebook account has been hacked.
  • God is watching.


And the list can go on and on. Just about anything can be an excuse. If you can’t think of any excuse or feel you might hurt them with hilarious lies, just tell them (if you’re not interested in them!), 'I am just not that into you'.


Read more articles on Intimacy in Relationships



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