Conflicts take place in a relationship due to a clash in opinions and beliefs. And, we generally tend to respond to a conflict based upon our perspectives. Either a conflict can result in extreme stress or one might on the contrary work towards resolving it.
Interestingly, according to a study published in an online edition of Psychological Science how well a couple is able to move on after a disagreement is closely linked to how attached they were as an infant to their immediate care givers.
This long term study was led by a PhD student, Jessica E. Salvatore of University of Minnesota’s Institute of Child Development. She along with the researchers studied couples, followed them since their birth and got them into the lab when they hit their 20s. So, there were 73 heterosexual couples who were asked to spend about 10 minutes on a topic they both disagreed upon. As a cool down they were given a task on a different topic. While evaluating the videotaped sessions, the researchers concluded that while some couples were able to forget their past conflict effortlessly there were those couples who couldn’t do it.
Researchers then sat down to compare the data collected when participants were 12 and 18 months old. They found out that those one’s who were more attached to their caregivers came over the conflict with their partners easily than those who weren’t.
Some of you might be thinking as to whether then such a relationship where it is difficult to get over a conflict will ever stand out in odd times. The answer to this is quite simple. As long as one person in the relationship attempts at pacifying the other the relationship can certainly last long.
Jessica in her study mentioned that this research that was conducted provided prospective evidence hinting upon the fact that individuals can compensate vulnerabilities that their partners carry with them ever since their childhood development.
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