The sassy character of Samantha Jones in Sex and City defines a relationship as “Well, it's tedious and the sex is dwindling.” It almost seems like she is prophesying about modern day marriages where most of them are fast propelling towards the sexless state. Yes, we need to own up to the fact that marriages are increasingly becoming sexless due to reasons such as professional pressures, hectic schedules and also lack of communication between couples. But you have to fix it if you want your marriage to work out. And no, you cannot wait for the other to take the first step! Be proactive to help your relationship grow.
Take a Long Hard Look at Yourself! - And no, we don’t mean just physically. Of course, there is no harm in doing that too if it can help your marriage. However, what you really need to do is search inside. What is it that taking the two of you apart? Why have you lost interest in your partner? How far will you go to set it right? And most importantly you have to realise what your sexual desires are so that you will know how to proceed.
Watch and Learn - There have to be signs and symptoms which will portray the dwindling sexual interest of your partner. What is it that ticks them off? Are they just disinterested or are they afraid of making a move? This will help you in discerning your partner’s process of thought and will also help in your plan to fix your sexless marriage.
Talk people. Talk! - Communication is the corner stone of any relationship. If you want to fix your sexless marriage then you will have to confront issues and come clean. Initiate dialogue and talk to each other. Talking about sex can be embarrassing but remember that it is up to the two of you to save your marriage. Sex and intimacy in relationships are important for keeping the fire going. Therefore, bury the hatchet and sort it out. And please, leave your high horse alone and forget the blame game. It takes two to tango remember?
The Bedroom is not a Battleground - The most important reason that leads to sexless marriages is arguments when one is about to sleep. If you have issues, don’t take them to bed. Clear the air before you hit the sack so that you have a clearer state of mind.
Get Rid of Distractions - The television can play devil for your marriage. If you are addicted then watch television but do not get the idiot box inside the bedroom. The noise and visuals will only distract you from each other and sex will be the last thing on your minds.
In the Mode for love! - Take a break and let go. Plan a vacation and no, we don’t mean a group excursion. Go out. Be only with each other. Alone time will help the two of you bond better. A candlelight dinner, long walks on the beach, and even something childish such as making sandcastles together will help bring more intimacy in your relationship.
Get Out of the Boring Comfort Zone - If the reason for your sexless marriage is boredom in the bedroom then get a little proactive. Spice things up and surprise your partner. Wifeys, buy some new lingerie, get a chocolate massage and show some aggression. Your man will love it! As for the hubbies, find out what she likes and surprise her. Buy her something suggestive like a blood red negligee and she will know what to expect! Also do not limit yourself to the bedroom. Explore the other areas of your house and see the sparks fly!
Talk to a pro - If there is no way in which you can instil the lost charm and excitement in your sex life then consult a professional. Sex therapists are experts who will help you in baring all your fears, aspirations and expectations. They will provide the two of you with options that will help in fixing your sexless marriage.
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