Tween as an age group is understood to be between 10 and 12 who are pre-adolescents. They experience the beginning of the hormonal spurt and resulting changes in the bodies. Most tweens start to exhibit temper tantrums, unnecessary rude behaviour and outbursts.
Before deciding on fitting punishments for your misbehaving tween try to understand the reasons why s/he has started to behave badly. Your tween like most of his/her friends is not able to cope with the stress of changes. Before you laugh off ‘stress’ as solely the privilege of adults look at your child’s life. There is constant stress over grades at and other performances at school. With peers it’s competition over spending money, fashion, good looks, success with the opposite sex and possession of gadgets.
Not to mention parental expectations such as choice of career and the beginning of early preparation for admission in a particular degree college. If you have familiarised yourself with the special character of the issues in your child’s life you will be able to find better ways to fix his/her rude antics.
For your parental authority to remain as such you will have to show who is in charge. While this doesn’t involve becoming a downright cruel traitor with zero patience for juvenile anger you will have to tweak the levels of your tolerance. The tween should be informed subliminally of a limit s/he cannot go past. If you have previously been giving into tantrums you will want to learn how to say no. Also, decide the kinds of rude behaviour which may be more or less acceptable to you. For instance, if s/he refuses to clean his/her room it may be allright but it may be another issue if s/he stars treating the entire house as a junkyard.
Do not be alarmed by the frequent explosions and no you are not walking on eggshells. If you let the emotional upheavals intimidate you, chances are your tween will assume s/he can have his/her way. Do not be provoked either to react with the same tone. To tweens everything is the end of the world and as a guiding adult you will have to remain calm and make the right decision. Your collected composure will communicate your sense of stability and your tween kid will appreciate it in the long run. Hence, discuss an issue only when the tween has calmed down and if the mood swings start again, postpone the talk.
Punishments are a tricky area. While physical hurt is out of the question as the kid is growing up, you might want to consider the type of punishment to correct defiant and aggressive tween behaviour. Temporarily taking away privileges such as television, internet and mobile phone time can be a possibility.
You would say that your tween will roll his/her eyes over on a mild suggestion of bonding activities. While it’s true that most rude tween behaviour arises from the children’s attempts at individuality away from parental glare they still need positive affirmation from elders. Let bonding come naturally and if you prove to be a good friend who takes seriously and treats your child with reasonable respect the feelings will be reciprocated.
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