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Steps for first time sex: How to get over the jitters and make sweet love with these sexual intercourse steps

By  ,  Onlymyhealth editorial team
Apr 19, 2013
4.8 / 5(4 Ratings)
Quick Bites

  • The most important thing is to stay relaxed and calm.
  • Foreplay is essential by all means for both the man and woman.
  • Use condom if not interested in pregnancy.
  • Be prepared and do not force yourself into it.


You hear about it, behind whispers of classmates and curious first timers who reached the so called “first base”. You wonder and you doubt, and you think of all the “what ifs”, you placidly hold your dear one’s hand and wonder how will it all turn out to be. Anticipating the first time sex can be a real trouble, you don’t know what to expect and you don’t know how to go about it.

first time sex - how to do sex first time

Whether you’re doing it on your wedding night, or with your boyfriend/girlfriend, the first time sexual intercourse remains special. Everyone dreams to have a perfect first time sex, but you should know that it's not that easy to have a smooth sailing on the very first time if you are not sure about how to do sex for the first time. Don't get disappointed if things don't go smooth in the first time, you can always have that perfect one on the second time. All you need to do is to relax and go with the flow. The first night is definitely going to cause you some worries, you are after all going to “do it”. The simple formula for this is to go with the flow, but then you have never had intercourse before, you do not know what it feels like, how should it be done. You are thinking what foreplay is and what is right and what is wrong? You probably read a lot of articles and asked your friends and you are still wondering. Then if you do not want pregnancy then which condom to use and how to put it on, and more importantly does it work?

For your benefit we have brought to you first time sex steps for men and women separately. Here we will first take a look at the necessary steps that boys need to take and then move on to the girls.

man first time sex

Steps for men

Here are the best tips on how to have sex for first time for men when it comes to first time sex.

Have fun

The most important thing to do is to have fun, whether it is with your girlfriend or your wife. You will have a bad experience if you are thinking too much about it; you will basically ruin the whole thing. There are no real steps to have sex; it should just come to you naturally. So take your girlfriend out for a movie or a nice dinner. This is so that the two of you can be relaxed.

Be safe

If you are not in the mood to become a father then you should take care of unwanted pregnancy. The first time intercourse can be over stimulating for you and you may ejaculate earlier than you would comprehend, this means that if you do not take precautions then there are chances that your girlfriend or wife can get pregnant, so be careful.

Be calm

First time sex can make you nervous, but that does not mean that you should be stressed. The only way in which you are going to get past this whole thing is by staying calm. Hold your woman’s hand and look into her eyes. She needs to be comfortable, and if you are not calm then this is not going to happen. Be nice and let the love flow.

Enjoy foreplay

This is sex tip for your entire life. If you skip foreplay you will make things bad, you will turn things extremely uncomfortable if you happen to miss on foreplay, because foreplay is the heart of your sex life. Intercourse is just where you finish it, foreplay is the starting. It is not just about penetration, all the stuff that leads to it is the most exciting. Kissing and touching are the best way to enjoy having sex.

Go easy

If this is the first time for your woman too then you should go easy. Lot of love birds decide to take the plunge and have sex for the first time, and therefore it could be your first time together. Make sure that you go easy on your lady love; do not demand for things that might make her feel very uncomfortable, and also do take steps out of the blue that would take her by surprise. You must go easy, so that she fells heightened emotional and sexual excitement and loves every minute of it.

One of the most common mishaps is penis malfunction, and this can be a matter of concern, but do not feel shy and do not be so alarmed. It happens because you are anxious and this is your first time. Therefore, you should go back to foreplay and out your mind away from everything else and enjoy the moment. Enjoy your lover, love her body.

woman first time sex

1st time sex steps for women

For women who are going to have sex for the first time things can be a little more tensing, there could be more anxiety. Women after all lose their virginity during the first time, and everyone around seems to be saying that the first time is painful. So what about women? What steps should they take for a smooth sail? Again there are no defined steps of having sex; it is just you and your physical love.

Have fun

Once when you are aware that it is going to happen then you should just take your time and enjoy. Before you have sex, try to be intimate, and by this we mean emotional intimacy. Women are emotional beings and therefore for them it is necessary that things take an emotional turn before plunging into the first time sex. Therefore, do some fun activity, have dinner together or watch a movie together and share a good time.

Talk to him

Women have more complications than men when it comes to the genitals of the two sexes. One of the most important steps to be taken before going for you first time sex is to talk to your lover about any doubt that you may have in your mind. Talk to him regarding anything and everything that may be bothering you.

Have confidence

We have sex with our partner in hopes of making the experience enjoyable for him and her, and therefore we are most times wondering whether our partner would like the experience or not. This makes us nervous and we lose out confidence, which will turn the entire experience upside down. Therefore, you must make sure that you have confidence and it is the responsibility of both the people partaking in first time sex to be more considerate and to be very supportive.


Foreplay queen

Women must always make sure that they do enough foreplay before getting the action on. Foreplay is primary for women for the sake of good sex, especially for those who are doing it for the first time. You must ensure that you are doing a lot of foreplay so that you are lubricated well. First time sex can be a discomforting, and therefore lubrication is of paramount importance.

Be lost

The only way to enjoy the very scary first time sex is by getting lost in each other. You have to relax, and just focus on the moment. Having sex is an extremely intimate experience and you will do great if you can get lost in each other’s body and soul. Do not think of anything else, and switch off your phone. Also, make sure that you have enough time in hand so that the two of you can enjoy the most of it. Take as much time as you wish to and make the most of it. Raise your concern; tell your partner if it hurts you. Make it memorable.

Finally, boy and girl should snuggle. Sex is no good when you just have it and get going with your life, and so you must enjoy each other’s company by lying in each other’s arms and enjoying every bit of the moment. Catch your breath and kiss and touch and talk. Then afterwards you can do it again, this time hit some new place and make it even more exciting. The truth is that sexual experience gets better with time, both for the man and the woman.

first time sex steps

Important tips


  • Do not force yourself and get into it. If you have a gut feeling that this is not the night, or this person is not the right person then just let it be. You are not up to it as yet.
  • Be careful if you are a virgin and your partner has had it before with others. There is always the risk of STDs and you should take adequate measures to keep safe.
  • Always use condoms if you do not wish to get pregnant. First time sexual intercourse could lead to pregnancy.
  • Do not have any expectations because no one is perfect, we only get better with time.
  • If any woman experiences excoriating pain and heavy bleeding then seeing a gynecologist is a must.

The best way to have sex is by not thinking too much about it, just go with the flow, and you will find that first time sex was good. Just make sure that you know what you are doing!

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    Though all possible measures have been taken to ensure accuracy, reliability, timeliness and authenticity of the information; Onlymyhealth assumes no liability for the same. Using any information of this website is at the viewers’ risk. Please be informed that we are not responsible for advice/tips given by any third party in form of comments on article pages . If you have or suspect having any medical condition, kindly contact your professional health care provider.
    • Ajit19 Apr 2013
      First time sex is special and I think it is important to take it slow by first looking into your partner's eyes, then slowly pulling them to kiss them. Setting up the scene is great too for the first night. These are nice tips.

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