According to the Oxford English Dictionary, the word commitment connotes ‘an engagement or obligation that restricts freedom of action’ and the word commit denotes ‘a long term emotional relationship’. In this article we analyse the from a man’s perspective the answer to the woman’s question “why won’t he commit to me?”
Going through gossip pages of newspapers, you may have seen that just after George Clooney’s girlfriend TV presenter Elisabetta Canalis revealed to an Italian magazine that she wanted marriage and children, Clooney ended their two year relationship.Clooney seems to be in the category of a commitment phobe.
The signs of a commitment phobe are clearly seen:
- The relationship works on the man’s own terms; if he has had a bad day and needs cheering up, he will turn up, but will never return the favour.
- He doesn't give much away. He may tell her he’s been to a football game, but he can be vague — even secretive — about the parts of his life she doesn’t share.
- You don’t meet the parents. The woman rarely see his, or not at all, and he’s not interested in spending time with hers
- He hangs out with the girls. He loves female company and his best friends often include lifelong women friends.
- He says he loves spending time with her, but they don’t spend much time together
Marriage which in effect is being committed to a woman means taking on the responsibilities of mortgages, taking out the trash, occasionally do the dish washing; as well as buying stuff for the wife spending lots of money; spend time listening to all the good and bad things she has to say; spend time when she requires his presence and so on.
Spending all these resources, a man will reflect whether it is worth it? Some men don’t want to shoulder these responsibilities.Being obligated to do something never feels good as it means surrendering his freedom and doing something he’drather do, like playing golf. Regardless of tradition or culture the masculine energy strives to break free and savour freedom. In contrast the feminine urge is to fill up with love, joy, energy and attention.
- A woman would want a commitment from a man for a happy long lasting relationship, in effect depriving him of his masculine need for freedom, which might have attracted her in the first place. He may unwillingly commit; afford the woman the security of his presence. Such a relationship would be devoid of love and passion and be pointless in the long run.
So instead of asking herself why he will not commit, it may be a better idea to ask herself what would create more passion and excitement between the two of them to enable a situation that he will never go anywhere else.
A man faces a number of problems and obligations during the work day so when he returns, the woman should be his source of freedom. He should feel that freedom through her.
It’s harrowing for a man to go to work and then come home to yet another obligation.
If she created that passion and excitement between the both of them, he wouldn’t want to go anywhere else.She certainly won’t have a problem with him committing; he’d love to be around her.
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