When you are determined to screw up your very own relationship, blaming others for something that you feel is justified in your mind would be on top of the list.
The fundamental purpose behind blaming others is to defend your own self esteem and putting the entire responsibility on others when things go awkwardly wrong. By blaming your spouse for everything, you surly would manage to protect your self esteem but would damage the marriage. If the person is insecure in nature, the more he or she is likely to blame others, when things go wrong.
Couples generally do the very best as they can, but if your spouse blames you for something, she or he might not know any better way of dealing with situations or problems. When this happens, it might not just be to protect his or her self esteem as it could be something that they could have learned seeing their parents or relatives when they were small in their childhood. There could be a probability that they might have not dealt with this situation in a cooperative or helpful way.
The best thing of a spouse who basically blames is that they appropriately recognize the existence of the problem. There are some spouses that have a tendency to deny that a problem really exists. In situations like this, denial of problems is more primitive response than blaming. With people who are likely to be in denial, have to be convinced that problem exists before positive developments can be made.
People who tend to blame are aware of the existence of the problems and a person who blames would stop blaming if they stop caring about the relationship.
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