How to deal with people who hold grudges

By  ,  Onlymyhealth editorial team
Mar 03, 2017
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Quick Bites

  • Holding grudges can be toxic for a relationship.
  • Dealing with people who hold grudges is a bit difficult.
  • Patience is important while dealing with someone with a grudge.

Once in a while, you will come across people who you will find a bit difficult to deal with. Why? You cannot deal with someone, who holds grudges and does not let go things easily. Yes, there are plenty of people who hold grudges and even we sometimes hold grudges and find it very difficult to let go of certain events or topics. The anger doesn’t seem to go away, we stay mad for quite some time but holding grudges is a very unhealthy practice. When you hold grudges, you start blocking people out and soon that anger turns into low-key hatred against every other thing and every other person. When you are holding grudge, you might not know that how difficult it becomes for other person. You will only know about the trouble when someone will hold grudge against you or against something you did.

 

hold grudges

 

Why dealing with people who hold grudges is difficult? It is particularly difficult because of one fact that you cannot do anything about it. They are just not talking to you, they are not letting it out, and they don’t want to sort it. They are just angry and that is it. If you have a friend or a family member, who doesn’t let it go and holds grudges, this is how you can deal with it.

 

 

Try to listen out first

Although, listening is the quality usually they lack when they are angry. If you have apologised and they still are not able to let it go. Call them out for an open conversation and if they agree, let them talk. Yes, hear them out, let them talk and let it all out. Even if you think that the reason that they are giving out makes no sense, just don’t counter. Yes, the idea is to let them vent out everything that they were holding inside. Just let them take out the anger and all the hurt that was making them hold grudge.

 

 

If you think you are at fault, accept your fault.

If someone is mad at you, there must be some reason. If they are mad at you, sincerely ask the reason. The best thing you can do is rethink the entire fight or event and see if you are at fault. Yes, sometimes people are mad at you for no reason at all but if that person matters to you, give it a thought and apologise.

 

 

Are they important?

Like it is mentioned in the above point, first know that if that person is that important to you or not. Why are you so affected? Why do you wish to fix the station? If you want to fix things with someone, make sure that they are worth it. You must not waste your energy on someone who is not even worth it. Does this person know that the way they are holding grudges against you, is causing you pain too? If they know it and they still are not letting it go, then you should rethink.

 

 

Image: Getty

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