There are couples who argue and then there are couples who fight like cats and dogs. If you are one of those couples who blow things out of proportion in every fight, you must learn that they are bad for you. They lead to stress and trigger health issues like migraine.
The biggest benefit of avoiding big spats is that it can lead to good conversations which can keep the relationship going in a healthy way.
So, following are a few ways in which you can skip a spat and make sure that the discussion stays healthy.
If you see that the discussion is entering a heated zone and you no more remember what the fight was about, take some time out. You can continue with the discussion when both of you feel that you have cooled down. If you feel that you cannot put a control on your voice, don’t start the discussion.
When you start a discussion you must be sure of the goal. You can ask these questions. "Am I here to hurt my partner?’’, "Do I want to resolve the issue?" From the word "go" you must aim at reaching a conclusion. This will make sure that you do more listening and stay thoughtful.
Do not stretch the argument. Try to keep it to the point and brief. You must always avoid bringing the past in your discussion. This is mainly because the discussion is aimed at deciding the future course of your relationship. Thus, bringing the past is only a waste of time. During the argument try to keep your statement as short as possible, probably not more than two to three sentences at a time. This way you will not seem like you are dominating the other person or the conversation. Doing this will also let your partner give an opportunity to get hold of the message you are trying to convey.
When you criticize habits of your partner in general, your argument loses its authenticity. Avoid using words like "always’’ and "never’’ in a fight. Generalizing can upset your partner thus, making things to blow out of proportion.
Spats are a part of every relationship but, they are only acceptable until they are doing no harm to your bond.
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