Marital infidelity is a rude shock to the strongest of people. It makes one wonder what went wrong with the relationship. Every marriage is based on the foundation of trust and belief. And infidelity is a direct antithesis to all that defines marriage. However, one needs to deal with marital infidelity with a renewed perspective keeping in mind that fretting and fuming about it won’t make any difference.
[Read: Causes of Infidelity in Marriage]
If you already know that your spouse is cheating on you then you need to think of the next step. You have to carefully evaluate your choices and see what is best for you first. We know, it might sound individualistic but you have to think about yourself. Marital infidelity is very hard to deal with even if you are someone with a very modern outlook. So we suggest, you think this through.
There is no smoke without a fire. So surely, this marital infidelity has not surfaced out of thin air. You have to try and deal with marital infidelity by understanding your spouse’s position. What triggered her/him to go outside the marriage and look for love or affection or even sexual gratification? Did you have an active but indirect role in this trespass? How do they feel about it? Are they feeling guilty or are they determined about the fact this marriage will not be able to satisfy their needs, whatever they might be? Answers to these questions will give you a better perspective and will also help you understand the situation better.
If the trauma of marital infidelity has taken a mental toll on you, seek help. Help can be in the form of a dear friend, sibling, or even qualified professionals. Pouring your heart out to a third person will let the wound of marital infidelity heal. Talk it out with them. It will help you see a clearer picture of where you stand and where this marriage stands in your life.
Marital infidelity can wreck a person emotionally and psychologically. If you feel like rationality is slipping away from you and you are bordering on a breakdown, stop and rewind. Give yourself some ‘me time’. Take a short vacation. Reconnect with yourself. It will help you deal with marital infidelity better, because you will be able to look at the problem with some amount of objectivity. Being in constant touch with friends and family who know about this infidelity will only make you feel the pressure more. So get away and relax.
The obvious answer is confrontation. However, beware, unless you have all your facts right, a confrontation is like poking a hornet’s nest. There might be heated words exchanged that might end up scarring the marriage. Again if you have already confronted your spouse about marital infidelity and you have been proven right, you need to introspect. What should be your next step? Can you forgive this? If yes, then you need to work at bettering the marriage and try to mend the broken ties. If your answer is in the negative, then you will have to find a way to let your partner know and decide how to go about it.
Every individual has their own unique way of dealing with marital infidelity. However, the best approach remains the one where you don’t lose your cool and take it slow. Think your decisions through because they will have a lasting effect on your life, your spouse and the marriage.
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