Educated or not, mothers are the best teachers. Though mothers teach us life long, the best thing they do is drop the pearls of wisdom on the lap of their daughter who stands on the threshold of holy matrimony. Love or arranged, matches are made in heaven, and with the guidance from mommy dear, the new phase in the girl’s life becomes much simpler. Bonus: Brownie points from the husband and in-laws for being a fantastic wife and daughter-in-law! Here are 8 marriage secrets that every mother should share with her daughter.
True love is about affection, selflessness and gratitude, and it is also about letting go when needed. If those qualities are not a part of a relationship, then it time to reconsider your steps! Mothers should tell their daughters that the fear of being alone or societal pressures are not the reasons to stay with someone. She should accept a proposal out of genuine love.
If you love someone you never make them walk through fire, do you? If you test someone’s love, you do exactly this to them. And it must not be forgotten that testing your spouse’s love depicts your own fears and insecurities. Daughters should be taught to have unconditional trust in her significant other, the strength of the relationship, and herself. This will prepare her for a healthy relationship. While opening up to the idea of sharing your life with someone might be scary, it is also what makes the journey of life rewarding.
Unless you have oodles of love and respect for yourself, you cannot provide them to others. After getting married, even if you are not practically living with your in-laws in the same house, don’t think that the relationship with them and other significant elders doesn’t matter. You still need to do things for others and sometimes even place them over yourself. Let the love originate from within, and see that nothing can stop it from being a perennial spring for everyone!
Time and personal space are two crucial things required for a relationship to bloom. Remind your daughter to give her partner that breathing space. She should learn from you that feelings like over-possessiveness, jealousy or even curiosity shouldn’t override her basic sense of judgement. More importantly, teach her to also keep alive HER interests, hobbies, spend time with friends, and also some alone time. They will all make her feel fulfilled. There is always plenty of room for romantic love.
A mother must teach her daughter to never let go of her self-esteem and confidence. Believing you are enough means remembering that nothing in you needs to change to be loved. Teach your daughter that someone who tries to convince her otherwise is not the man for her. Remember daughters, if you do not believe in yourself, nobody else will.
That three lettered word- the ouch talk is nothing to shy away from. Mothers should teach their daughters to love their bodies- another important lesson in self-esteem. Your body deserves pleasure, and is not an object of lust and "use". If you don't teach this, who will? Her body is not only to be loved by her partner, but also for her to take care of and experience its joys. Talking about it positively puts her in the driver’s seat.
The first few months of marriage can be pretty difficult. Especially in arranged marriages, the girl has to accept her husband chosen by the family, with all his "goods and bads". It is important that mothers teach their daughters to first be comfortable with, and accept their own shortcomings. It would then be easier for them to accept their better half. When they will know that people are not perfect, rather than giving up, they will chose to let go of certain things in order to be happy.