How to Talk to your Partner about Sex Problems

By:Vatsal Anand, Onlymyhealth Editorial Team,Date:Nov 26, 2012

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Your sex life influences your marital life, enough to cause serious discord if both of you have something left to be desired. Talking about sex can be hush-hush for you, but it shouldn't be if you consider our tips.
  • 1

    Get Talking

    Problems in a romantic relationship are not new to any couple. And it has been proven that communication can do a lot better for any relationship than ignorance towards issues, which in fact can fester and cause more harm than good. So, if you find it hard to do something that your partner likes in bed or if your partner does something that you do not like, we suggest that you let them know. Here's how.

  • 2

    Let Your Partner Know You have Something to Discuss

    Let your partner know that you have something important to discuss about and that it is a sexual matter. It is generally a good idea to give your partner a clue about what you intend to talk because by doing that you have won half the battle. Moreover, you would then get the time to gather thoughts and plans on what could be coming up if you throw a cue at them.

  • 3

    Agree on a Good Time to Talk

    A discussion on sex needs to be private and in a face to face setting. There must also be no interruptions. Try to talk about these matters when the kids are not close by or even while watching the television. With there being interruptions, the couples will most definitely misunderstand each other and miscommunicate. Agree on a time when you two should sit down to talk. This will help you two to be less defensive as well as emotional during the conversation.

  • 4

    Keep to Facts

    When discussing about a sex problem, you must keep to the facts and not start talking about other things that had probably hurt you before. This is not the ideal time to discuss other issues that you may have had in the relationship. Try to stay specific and focused on the sexual issues that are at hand. If at all your discussion goes haywire with either of you talking about other issues, refocus on the agenda.

  • 5

    Be Honest with Your Partner

    Give a candid yet detailed account of your problems. Your partner should know it all, your expectations, fears, concerns and sexual desires. There is no need to pretend what you are not. An elaborate explanation of the issue is essential to make it a smooth experience. Don't be a character from an erotica. Be the best that you are already and get your weak points across.

  • 6

    Talk Primarily about your Needs and Wants

    You must always address the conversations with “I”. You should try to talk majorly of your needs and wants instead of talking about what would enhance the sexual experience of your partner. Because you are calling to have a discussion, you must talk about your needs and wants. Avoid blaming your partner or suggest that your partner is doing something wrong. Try to stay positive throughout the conversation because ultimately your goal is to make peace together and enjoy a better sex life.

  • 7

    Never Talk in Bed

    Why spoil your intimate moments in bed with this touchy issue of sex problem? These problematic issues are best discussed at some other time, preferably when it is not the time to be intimate. You don’t want to spoil what is good between you two. Right?

  • 8

    Do Not Refer to Books/websites offering 'Complete Solutions'

    There is no dearth of websites and books with 'experts' that claim to know each sex problem faced by a couple. Get to the real problem before trying any solution. Nothing does that better than having a meaningful conversation. Taking baseless advice can land your relationship in trouble. Besides, problems of each couple are different and have different reasons.

  • 9

    Find Amusing Ways to Heat up Sex Life

    It is only natural and you should have expected to be facing the problem of monotony in your sex life. Most couples go through it; you need to experiment and find new ways to satisfy yourself and your partner too. So, once you are through with the discussion, try to read up on stuff that is relevant to your sex life and try to be on the lookout for ways in which you can enjoy your time together in bed.

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