Not all of us are escapist but it still remains the easiest thing in the world to avoid confrontations. Yet we fear when we love someone that they will either leave or betray us. The fear doubled with the eagerness to steer clear from asking ourselves difficult questions results in anxiety. It would be fallacious to assume that either of the sexes are more emotionally secure in a relationship. Finds, Arshad Said Khan
The big F turns out to be a sobering word. Monogamy is a contract of respect and may not always be maintained. A lover or spouse’s intuition may not always kick in and sometimes its too late to learn that you partner has been unfaithful. However, the impending threat of that moment is what creates more unhappiness than the actual realisation of the truth. We should know that even when the other shoe has dropped it cannot be put back in its place. If you have been wronged you cannot be too sure if the same will happen again. Neither does your partner know that you will in practice forgive and move on. That is the point at which emotional insecurity can get the better of both of you and prevent healing.
Growing apart without a specific dramatic event can be as disheartening to both the man and the woman. The fear of becoming jaded or simply bored with each other can eat out an early relationship as well. The questions of “what if…” are easy to take hold of and ruin a perfectly healthy romance. We all know that the initial thrills cool down and must lead the relationship into a second stage of deeper intimacy that does not require immediate physical expressions. Before we graduate into such maturity we get cold feet from the very idea of losing those cherished moments of euphoria. The idea is to tell each other to not expect the honeymoon to last forever and verbalise to purge the chinks as they appear on an otherwise smooth surface of your love.
More than losing the object of our affection we are insecure over not living upto his or her’s expectations. The elaborate performance of love in terms of gestures and rituals can wear out even the most accomplished of Romeos and Juliets. Fatigued with the constant need to show the authenticity of our emotions we may even become aggrieved at acting foolishly. This is turn results into more emotional insecurity and inferiority complex over never achieving that ultimate grand romance. If we don’t realise soon enough that we are setting ourselves up for failure it can cause severe damage to our emotional health. Not to mention the relationship. While romance feeds love it is most convenient to let ourselves be blinded by it and fall more in the idea of love than love itself.
To keep the embers warm enough but not start a fire that will burn the house down is by no means an easy task. Every couple will make mistakes and feel pangs of insecurity but the resilient ones will always seek to work ensemble at being together and happily so.
Read more articles on Relationship Help