You can have sex without intimacy and intimacy without sex. The ideal blend of the two we seek in our lives can consume us completely. The wise one will be on the lookout for the real thing carefully avoiding mirages and illusions.
We humans are complicated creatures. We may want several contradictory things in our lives at the same time. We may want nothing better than true love but we may also have an another equally powerful desire to conduct temporary affairs with every attractive person that comes along. Combine your contradictions with another and you are dealing with TNT. You can’t have your and their cakes and eat them all!
You may be making sweet love but your partner may just be doing something purely biological at that moment. This is the great moment of disconnect but don’t feel cheated. You will do it to him/her sometime too. It is perfectly normal for every relationship to witness changes in levels of lust and love. Don’t keep count once you have learned to trust your partner. It would be a futile exercise.
Intimacy does not come in a “just add water” box. You might meet someone you have great attraction towards and chemistry with. Although, it takes time to make memories and work on a bond for true intimacy to blossom. Its all about expression and you may have a different way of showing that you care (even during sexually charged moments) than him/ her. If you both mutually pay more attention to unfurl the meanings behind each others’ gestures and words you are headed in the right direction.
Do not be too convinced by adages. Do not be too convinced by your own and your partner’s efforts to simulate intimacy either. Anybody can make you feel like a million bucks for a few moments. The two key words in your mind should be ‘consistency’ and ‘reciprocity’. Again, this does not mean looking for a sexual and emotional slave. But if on most counts your partner is faithful to the cause that is you pat yourself on the back.
The biggest sex organ they say is the brain. Add to its functions intimacy as well. The job for both parties in a relationship will be to keep the right juices flowing. Your sex life may sag but as you grow and mature together you will find yourself in a strong union. The overwhelming passions may now come rarely. While, the hallmarks of true intimacy like absolute trust will have manifested a log time ago.
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