Yes. We all know what brick-heads men can be when it comes to understanding what their women want in bed. Reams have been written about their insensitivity to the needs of their partners, their inability to take hints, and their undying love for the TV remote. But does that mean that women make no mistakes?
Much as we would like to say yes, the answer is ‘no’. Women make their share of sex mistakes too. So girls, here are some things you may want to watch out for. And boys, send your women the link.
Top of the charts of women's common mistakes is the obsession women have with themselves. Always worrying about what you look like can be a big turn off for men. Psychosexual therapists say that several women spend a lot of time worrying about whether their partners like the way they looked and in this obsession forgot to have fun.
“It is very likely to ruin your chances of orgasm,” said Dr Raman, a relationship counsellor in Delhi talking of women paying more attention to what they look like than to actually enjoying themselves.
As Helen Fisher writes in her book Why Him Why Her, most of the things that women obsess about go unnoticed by their men. This is one of those things. Men love a woman who is enthusiastic and confident. So, be confident about your body and give yourself the permission to enjoy yourself with abandon. It really doesn’t matter that you think that you don’t like a supermodel. You are beautiful anyway!
Another mistake that women make is expecting a guy to know what to do. Years of articles in women’s magazines are a proof that men don’t know what a woman wants. But they’re forthright enough to admit that they don’t and are willing to learn. Men do want to please you. So, give them a heads up.
Many women feel uncomfortable talking about sex and what they want. But it can be a great way to increase the intimacy quotient and get him to really give you the goods. Take responsibility for your own sexual fulfilment. Even the best partners cannot possibly fathom what you want if you won’t tell him. So, set aside your inhibitions and get vocal...although the men do assure us that not all guidance need be vocal.
Be open to new ideas. That’s not just board room talk. It’s a very effective bedroom policy as well. Many men feel that women are not ready to experiment. Mixing things up in the sack can really take things to a whole new level.
Many women are insecure about trying new things in bed. Just because your partner wants to spice it up by trying something new does not mean that he’s either unhappy with you or the sex you share. He’s probably just trying to take it to the next level, and that could be great for you too. If it feels like you may be transgressing on moral lines, tell him and explain to him why you can’t do what he wants you to, but otherwise, too much straightjacket can get boring.
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