Adoption is never easy for the family who adopts. Several issues have to be addressed such as
Who all should be told about the adoption (family, friends, co-workers), when should they be told.
[Read: How to prepare for Adoption]
What to tell family, friends, co-workers and if there are biological children about adoption
The amount of information you want to share with others depends on how comfortable they and you are with sharing details of private matters. You may consider not share any detail at all if you do not feel comfortable or don’t want to.
You may tell extended family members and friends about the adoption early on in the process if you want to. This may give you time to gain the support of others as you apply and wait for a child. You may tell about adoption plans only just before a placement occurs or after the adoption is completely finalized. Do as you feel comfortable, share the information only if you feel comfortable.
Other people who may need to be told about adoption include the pediatrician or family doctor, and the child’s teacher. If the pediatrician or family doctor is aware of adoption he or she may recognize that the child may have a different medical history than that of the adoptive parents. Awareness of the child’s teacher about adoption may be important to help the teacher deal with learning or behavioral issues in the classroom.
[Read: Rules for Adoption in India]
The most difficult aspect of adoption is if you have your own biological children. How to make the child, understand about adoption and accept the adopted child. You may feel anxious deciding how much to tell the child, when to tell, and if your child is going to get upset about it. Give your child time to understand the issue and accept the new child.
Another difficult aspect of adoption is when tot tell the adopted child that he or she is not your biological child. You may feel anxious deciding how much to tell the child, when to tell, and if he or she is going to get upset about it. Do not make the adoption issue a big secret. Be honest with the child from the start about the reality that they are adopted. But tell them as much as they can understand and do not overwhelm them. Tell them that their birth parents loved them a lot but as they could not look after them they gave him or her to you, and you also love them a lot. As the child matures he or she will ask for more details that will need to be told. If you feel that the child has feeling of abandonment or resentment, address and defuse it as best as possible during childhood. The adopted child may at some point, feel rejection or pain about being "given away." Help your child to deal with such hurt feelings, remain calm, be a good listener and offer emotional and moral support.
Remember that there is no right time to tell or right way to tell. Take your time and if needed take help of a counselor.
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